Usually, a polite request (and the occasional selfie) if enough to convince people to move at a safer distance. But this time it wasn’t going to be easy.

A first attempt from Francesco was fruitless, with the girl simply replying she was fine to remain there. Minutes later, JonathanR tried again, only to receive a similar answer, along the line of “I was here before, so I won’t move”. Clearly, she wasn’t aware of the dangers of being so close to the action.

With the goals already in place and the clock ticking, FDs decided to reduce the pitch by respecting an invisible lateral line that would kept the girl just outside the play. Not just that, they had to adjust their play to (try to) avoid hitting the girl.

A further, but more pleasant distraction came moments before kick-off, when a man approached us.

Having left his sons nearby with a Fox group, George could not believe his eyes when he saw us, and asked if he could join our match as the 11th player.

Despite the obvious maths problem, such a request could never be denied. This is how FDs were born and how most of us were recruited over the years.

Nizar was the first to welcome George, remembering how he did exactly the same thing when he first came to play, some 12 years ago or so.

A Ron Howard look-a-like, despite lacking proper boots George had very good debut, scoring one and getting close to a second with one of the best headers ever seen in our matches.

His presence however had the inevitable effect to unbalance what could have been a perfectly fair 5-side game. Counting on the extra-man, and playing downhill, the Colours team had always more attacking options, and scored profusely.

Being one-man down, instead of retreating in defence as Tuchel might have done, the Oranges went ahead and played in a very attacking fashion. Francesco, Marco and Morteza all found the net, but the score remained firmly in favour of the Colours (8-3 or something).

Discussions were held about changing the teams to rebalance the game, but no action was taken. “Two more minutes and I am gone” replied George every time that the issue of disparity was raised. Those two minutes lasted half an hour or so, but eventually he did leave, returning the match to a fair 5-side.

In this second part, the Oranges actually scored more than the Colours and reduced the gap, but it wasn’t enough to invert the result, with the match ending with the Colours prevailing 11-8.

Among the Colours, it was Kaan to shine. A player that is always reliable, he played his no-nonsense football, and directed the game as a seasoned Spanish midfielder (think Rodri), earning a well deserved MOTM award.

And the girl? Oh, she was never hit with the ball, a testament to the precision of FDs play, didn’t move a muscle during the whole match and remained there after we finished. Perhaps she is still there.

COLOURS-ORANGES 11-8

ORANGES

Francesco, Marco, Morteza, Jonathan, Jonathan

COLOURS

Johannes, Victor, AndreaM, Nizar, Kaan, George

My Kingdom for a right shoe!

The game was played in front of Kensington Palace as half term has started: please take note Palace will be FDs’ summer residence until schools start again in September.

The pitch is a bit smaller but smoother, ideal for a 8 v 8 game like today. Fans love it as it offers a natural oblique stand with elevated view and trees behind providing a much needed shadow. These premium tickets were snatched in no time and an active market developed thereafter with Wimbledon tickets holders happy to barter in.

Royals were nowhere to be seen not least because the Palace is wrapped up in scaffolding for what looks like a long-lasting refurbishment whose end-result will have important repercussions on the future of the monarchy. It was surprising that even the most intimate Royal observers missed out on two concomitant factors which instead were picked up with perspicacity by your very commentator: the recent surprise visit of Prince Harry to his father King Charles and the restructuring of the very Kensington Palace.

This is a long rooted story: we were perhaps the one to point out at the time that one of the causes, if not the main one, of the animosity among Royals was the weekly dispute on who was entitled to the best seats to watch FDs from the Palace window every Saturday morning.

It is only plausible that Harry has put his return to England conditional upon both the refurbishment of the Palace and the bestowing of the desired seats for him and family. Harry apparently made it clear that having such seats is a condition both necessary and sufficient for his permanent return, implying that all the rest (titles, estates etc) can be at full discretion of his Royal Father.

Only fools can think this is a frivolous matter: Prince William has been a long term loyal Aston Villa fan ( nobody is perfect…) but he reconciled himself with the beauty and essence of football only since he started watching FDs. We know full well Prince William would rather trade his future crown, which bring responsibilities, for a FDs front seat which bring perpetual joy. Perhaps a compromise can be struck: something like a big, elevated veranda with equal seating but at the moment Kensington Palace is hidden in scaffoldings and no educated guess can be taken for granted on what its final shape of the southern wing will be.

Moving from Royalty to science, ’Yuv’s Law’ yet again found multiple applications today. Twice the bar was clipped and the ball then went further out: first a fierce shot by Victor, back in action, and then an angled thunder one by Al that hit Giancarlo’s hand (not the other way around) and then the upper bar, resulting in a corner kick. Just a reminder: if you want the ball back in play you have to hit the post, preferably the bottom part for ‘Yuv’s Law’ to apply. Elastic bars instead behave like elastic bars.
As for Victor, Carlo Ancelotti has only himself to blame for not using him in the World Cup: a double V partnership, Vini Jr and Victor, would have naturally spelt Victory all along: it’s in the name!

Unfortunately Yuv was not there today to validate its law: we should resign to the fact that his appearances will be even rarer as he is constantly invited to scientific forum and conferences since his own Law rocked the world of science. It might not be a coincidence that on his agenda on December 10th there is written ‘Oslo’…

There were other ballistic wonders: at one point a high ball was flying midway between Orange box and midfield: before it had a chance to touch the ground Hannes hit it with such force and purpose that it had everyone screaming and jumping in anticipation of a great goal. It was like Tony Kroos and Lothar Mattheus had combined to lend Hannes their power and technique to produce such an amazing shot. But with Alessandro as a keeper, it is goal only when the ball inflates the net. In fact the Italian stretched his left arm to send the ball just above the bar making an incredible save. Everyone, including opposition, hoped it was a goal so to have a proper, long lasting recognition of such ballistic prowess. Fans were anyway ecstatic but the most relieved were the ducks in the pond always on red alert when Hannes tries long distance volleys…

Talking about strikes also Chetan was close to score from distance: had he not worn Giancarlo’s emergency shoes rather than his own, we would probably celebrate a great goal. But Chetan score he did later with a diabolical diagonal shot. Today he had his personal set of fans (see pic) but their loyalty ought to be questioned as they were not there at the topic moment: did they think Chetan would never score or were they convinced he would take them to a game of cricket?

Chetan had a dedicated fan base and he rewarded them with a goal

Chetan was not available for the post match interview to clarify the matter and could not be reached thereafter, unlike his voice mail which kept repeating: ‘it is not every Saturday that I score, so please just let me celebrate the goal in peace!’.

Teams seemed well balanced at the start for a 8 v 8 match under the scorching sun: Colours fielded 4 Dads and 4 Kids while Orange respectively 5 and 3 with the latter arguably favoured by the age factor. We often argued that age for FDs is only a number and today yet again the argument found evidence.

Colours played with a very well balanced 2-3-2 with a rushing keeper in the early minutes until Giancarlo, owing to a malfunctioning knee, became the permanent one giving Orange hopes of an easy victory as long as they could hit the goal… Orange had the advantage of a proven goalkeeper in Alessandro but lacked adequate cover in defence with a clear propensity for forward traction and tactical indiscipline.
Colours immediately capitalised on such a daring system by exposing Orange fragility in back, despite Alessandro’s heroics. Morteza has become a prolific striker but at times he is on a ‘hit and miss’ mode: not today when he formed with Smayan a deadly partnership capable of inflicting pain at every touch, scoring cumulative 8 goals (4 each) giving Orange defence no respite. The ever reliable Julien added two as well as JR did with flair and efficacy.

On the opposite front the Ragnis had the lion’s share scoring a combined hat trick out of 5 goals. Francesco had two: despite being the least mobile player he was there when it mattered most, a bit like Messi but unlike Messi he also scored with a header-shoulder giving hope of a remuntada. Kaan with a brace and a remarkable performance also made fans believing than the game was not over.

Other than Victor the other notable return was Andrea R who assisted and scored almost at will, putting to use his right foot reminiscent of the Azzurro and AC Milan winger Donadoni.

Players were under strict orders not to resort to hydrations breaks which in fact did not take place officially. Nevertheless CLUB’s emissaries, disguised as trees, spotted though some of them sneaking out of the pitch to eagerly drink water. Heavy disciplinary measures, supported by video evidence, are expected to hit them before next match.

FDs and FKs treated themselves to hydration break only at the end of the non-stop match, ridiculing World Cup players.

In the meanwhile on the pitch the forward Colours’ pair made by Morteza and Smayan, fed by the midfield golden triangle of Johannes, JR and Julien, devastated any hope of recovery by the Orange scoring a bundle with multiple systems and moves fixing the result at 12-5 when the clock hit 11.45. The gulf in performance was dragged into the golden goal with Smayan again netting the metal winner.

Fired by the victory of his own country over Belgium in the World Cup, the Spaniard was the Man of the Match with Morteza in close contention. Smayan not only scored four goals but delighted the audience with a couple of sublime ‘roulette’ a la Zidane in front of the Orange goal.
Though this is unconfirmed, the entourage of the Spanish crown has spilled that King Felipe has place a call to Infantino asking for Smayan to be allowed to play the semis for Spain. Yet again FDs and FKs are called in to rescue the show.

COLOURS-ORANGE 13-5

GOALS
COLOURS: Smayan (4), Morteza (4), Julien (2), Jonathan R (2), Johannes, Chetan
ORANGE: Francesco (2), Andrea R, Kaan (2)

TEAMS
COLOURS: Giancarlo, Hannes, Chetan, Julien, Johannes, Jonathan R, Smayan, Morteza
ORANGE: Alessandro, Al, Victor, Dario, Kaan, Youness, Andrea R, Francesco

There is much to like about playing football in the early evening after a summer working day. The light is warmer, the temperature is falling rather than rising, and (added bonus) you can park in the Royal Borough without paying a penny.

Other than that, certain things never change: whenever FDs take to the pitch, it’s business as usual: high-speed, high-octane football, fierce tackles, plenty of shouting, controversial refereeing decisions, and a plethora of goals.

Yesterday’s match saw sixteen players determined to give at their best, despite the heat and a hard, dry, pitch that now resembles a savannah, with very little grass and holes so big that you wouldn’t be surprised to see a warthog jumping out of one of them.

While battling such a poor surface, the players could at least enjoy a brand new ball, courtesy of Bijan.

The official ball of the Premier League season has already been tested by the likes of Erling Haaland and Bruno Fernandes, but it remained to be seen how it would respond to the delicate touches and thunderous strikes of the FDs. Puma executives, present on the pitch for the occasion, were understandably anxious, but ultimately pleased with the result.

Still euphoric after having a new law named after him, Yuv arrived accompanied by two wingmen: rookie Arun and Aris (left and right in the top photo). Two strong players that we hope to see more often.

Adam played the entire match shirtless, a decision that puzzled pundits, who were unsure whether it was a response to the extreme heat, or an attempt to intimidate his opponents and ensure nobody dared mark him close. Whatever the reason, he had a very good match, and I am obliged to put on record that he scored two goals (he made me an offer I couldn’t refuse to ensure I mentioned that).

The most dramatic moment came in the second half, when Yuv and Dario’s knees collided. The Italian fell to the ground, screaming in pain, with everyone fearing the worst. After a minute or two, however, Dario was back on his feet and resume playing as if nothing had happened. Supernatural powers at work?

A surreal episode occurred shortly afterwards. A mysterious individual entered the pitch, instead of going around it, and slowly made his way from one goal to the other.

With his enigmatic expression, improbable outfit and dreamlike, unsettling walk, he looked as though he had stepped out of a David Lynch film, such as the disturbing woodsman from Twin Peaks The Return.

Undeterred, players carried on kicking ball, but I’d rather not think about the kind of cosmic wrath that might have descended upon us had someone accidentally hit him!

ORANGES-COLOURS 6-8 (or something like that)

ORANGE

Francesco, Alessandro, Hossam, Yuv, Arun, Al, Jonathan, and more

COLOURS

Andrea, Bijan, Dario, Adam, Aris, Nizar and more

Some WC games come close, in terms of adrenaline intake, to our Saturday battles but, among others, would never be able to host surprise events like the one we witnessed today. Since their departure from Kensington Palace, from which they could discreetly watch every game, Royals have not only not turned up at any game but also didn’t send any sign of their affection.

Yet today, perhaps embarrassed by the long absence, they sent an unequivocal sign of where they would rather be on a Saturday morning. At one point when the fight was raging, a big, white, regal Swan (one of those protected and registered) landed in the middle of the pitch. The huge bird betrayed a clear sense of entitlement so that any rush action to get rid of him would have been been met by a fierce, regal resistance with a line of park wardens ready to punish anti- Royal behaviour .

As always, FDs came out with the perfect solution which both appeased and pleased the Swan: two line of players were formed in no time and while the Swan was going through them, he was given a standing ovation until finally he displayed his wings to fly over the pond landing in Kensington Palace where news were eagerly awaited.
As the Royal Swan stole the scene, few ordinary dogs planning their usual encroachment to chase the ball, thought it was better to postpone the raid to a different not to look second best, their eventual invasion met by indifference .

There was also a curious event that puzzled scientists, more specifically physicists when Yuv directed a strong header against the post. Being an elastic band the ball was expected to either go in the net or outside. Instead, it did bounce back as if hitting a solid post.

Physicists were left with no option but to call it the ‘Law of Yuv’ which states unequivocally : ‘When a ball hits an elastic post it will go either in or out. Unless is hit by Yuv’. Later Yuv with an amazing shot hit the top corner with the ball going out. This allowed the ‘Law of Yuv’ to be further restricted to posts, excluding bars and top corners. Contributing to the progress of science is just another FDs endeavour.

At the start of the game there was a new young face: Simon from South Korea played a good game as a reliable right back for Colours. Unfortunately, SK is already among our 74 Nations. We went from 66 at the time of the Master Game Anniversary two yers ago to 74 today. At this pace, which is necessarily slowing, to fill the 195 Nations recognised by ONU it will take 30 years. Perhaps we should create in parallel TFDs (Touring Football Dads) which play every Saturday in a country not yet present in the list. Something the Board should give considerations to.

Karim was back after a long absence and it didn’t take him much to open the dances for the Orange: Giancarlo received a ball midfield, back to the goal, and sensing that behind him there was a move by a team mate, produced a blind pass (a no look would have not done it…) for Karim. There was at that point still work to be done and Karim did it impeccably putting Orange in front. Sensorial Football is another specialty FDs excel at.

The goal, paradoxically, produced the effect to outrage Colours which reacted furiously with Daoud leading the charge: by the end of the match he showed ‘four of a kind’ (ha calato un poker) which for him is just par for the course. The score was further rounded by a goal by Josh who was back in the game in very good shape and by young Arman who is increasingly becoming a well-rounded player, able to assist and score as well as to alternate his game between the two opposite flanks. His father-agent did well to refute early offers which looked generous at the time, almost offensive now.

The fighting spirit though never deserted Orange who were always in the game scoring also with Yuv, JR and Christian. Davide went close to score few times and showed increased stamina by chasing opponents when dispossessed.
Colours brought this aggressiveness into the golden goal as they badly wanted something out of this game. And they were rewarded when Karim bagged it to seal the match with a superb brace.

When the top scorer with four goals belongs to the winning team it’s very likely he will also be the winner of the Man of the Match Award. When that man is Daoud the high probability becomes a certainty. It should also infer that his marker, Christian in this instance, had a bad day in the office. Quite the opposite: it was a clash of titans. With another player marking him probably Daoud would have scored a bundle. Christian often was able to challenge him and come out of the box head high like Cannavaro in Italy v Germany in 2006 World Cup. Besides, the Italian scored a goal and went close to another one with an imperious header which shaved the bar
on a long throw by Yuv. Karim was back with a bang and his brace, one of which was the golden goal, warranted him a place on the podium.

The bad news is that this great World Cup will be soon finished. The good news is that it will be FDs football as usual every Saturday until further notice.
Twenty two years and counting.

COLOURS-ORANGE 7-6

GOALS

COLOURS: Daoud (4), Josh, Arman, Ross

ORANGE: Karim (2),Yuv (2), Jonathan R, Christian

TEAMS

COLOURS: Simon, Josh, Amin, Johannes, Jonathan L, Kaan, Daniel, Robbie, Ross, Daoud, Arman

ORANGE: Alessandro, Andrea, Jonathan R, Christian, Karim, Giancarlo, Davide, Dario, Yuv, Francesco

Sometimes, three words (and two emojis) are enough to make great things happen.

When Yuv wrote “Weekend evening game👀?” at 8.02am on Tuesday, he was expressing a feeling often felt by Football Dads and Kids, the desire to play more often than just on Saturdays. Little did he know that he was about to unleash a tsunami of positive reactions, leading to an exceptional sunset match.

To put things in perspective, in the history of FDs a mid-week evening game had been played only once, on Monday 29 March 2021.

At the time we were coming out of a stressful three-months Covid ban on sports activities. The PM of the time (a blonde guy with long hair and a questionable sense of humour) had announced that organised sport could restart that Monday.

Considering how hard it would have been for everyone to wait six more days to play, the Club decided that a special match would take place that very afternoon, with 18 players enthusiastically answering the roll call.

Luckily, Covid is now a distant memory, but Yuv’s invitation still resonated highly with everyone, not surprising when you factor in all the World Cup stimuli, the more inviting evening weather and the long days of summer light.

Every player did their best to be at the pitch for a 7pm start. Among all, Al (pictured below) deserves credits for sneaking out of his job to come and play, dressing up in style afterwards to return to his workplace, hoping that no one would have noticed his absence in the meantime.

The match was a joyful and intense one, with two of our brightest stars rising to the occasion to delivered a masterclass.

Knowing this would have been his last match for a few months, Aurian played with unseen intensity and flair, scoring a few and even trying to do it with his bottom in one bizarre occasion. Yuv scored an avalanche of goals for both teams, having changed shirt at half time to compensate an evident disparity.

Everyone deserves accolades but special kudos should go to Bijan, the true engine of his team; JoJo, for capturing a million balls and distributing them with precision, and Federico, simply a rock in defence.

The match remained quite balanced until the end, with the score set at 8-8 or something like that, until Aurian’s inevitable golden goal.

Yuv received the Man of the Match Award in recognition not just of his incredible performance, but also his intuition and leadership in suggesting to play mid-week.

Will the evening match become a regular staple of FDs, at least in the summer time? It’s too early to tell, but in the meantime keeping yourself free for next Wednesday at 7pm…

But when warriors who play non-stop from the first touch to the golden goal regardless, to interrupt the game for a water break, well that becomes almost unnatural. It is like if a bunch of unionised camels stop in the desert for water breaks. Their male mates will take the piss forever while female ones will just refuse dating them. To the point, there were fans on the stands questioning if such water break is a breech of contract and as such can trigger a class action for the reimbursement of the season ticket.

The Board, ever alert, was quick to react with the following statement: ‘Hydrations breaks relegate FDs to the realm of ordinary players which is not where they belong. Damaging our brand with such unauthorised initiatives equates to a crime against football which, make no mistakes, will severely be punished. Future breaks will have from now on to be approved by the Board at unanimity and the date will have to be submitted two months in advance. If the date is cleared, then the following terms and conditions will apply: it will only after at least two players from each team have fainted from exhaustion (to be certified by a doctor on the pitch) that quick access to water (10’ max ) will be allowed with takers automatically yellow carded and sent off if found out doing it again’

Today attendance though, credit to players, was business as usual despite the heat: 21 undisturbed footballers staged a thrilling game which could not separate winners from losers:7-7 the final score after golden goal. Besides, there was a bonanza of Rookies, showing that yet again FDs is the most powerful magnet in sport when it comes to attracting new talents.

Rookie Amin from Morocco was on the score list within 1 minute from debut

Yuv and Rookie brother Vansh fought for football supremacy within the family

There were three of them: a by passer, Amin from Morocco and two ‘words of mouth’ Kids. Amin started in defence but after 55’ he was in the opposition box scoring with a header: no time wasted in introducing himself! Of the other two Kids, Vansh knew of FDs and FKs from his brother Yuv: before going to sleep, Yul would always tell him a FDs tale so that he badly wanted to come and check himself if they were for real. As he later put it in the post match interview: ‘It was a game where the lines between phantasy and reality was thinner than those on the pitch’.

The tallest player on the pitch, Vansh had first to negotiate his shooting due to the bumpy terrain but then scored a screamer from distance showing overall agility and vision. As a family member to a well established Kid, the CLUB gets a discount on his price tag which looks full even after such cut.

When Rookie Harry was brought in by Robbie

The other young Rookie was Harry brought in by his ex-Latimer school mates Yuv, Giacomo and Robbie. He took command of the lower left flank playing as a well educated left-back. He reminded us of a previous FD, Paraguayan central defender Blas. Like him, Harry would never mistreat the ball by kicking it far and away from defence: rather he resorted to tricks as an integral part of defending thriving under pressure. Blas would always come out of the box, head high, not before having dribbled, as a minimum requirement, a couple of opponents where at least one of the them had to be either a nutmeg (often competing with Giancarlo) or a Ronaldinho elastic ban. Blas could have played holding a cigar on his right hand while sipping a Martini with olives with the other, without ever losing focus and determination. Harry, please take note.

The game started with Colours hitting the ground running led by Diego F. who, unusually, punched below his size in the MG12. A sure way to make money was to bet on Diego to star in today’s match as it never happened in his career to play two consecutive matches below his full potential. His tally ended with a hat trick which is not every attacking midfielder’s cup of tea.

The disparity of talent and vigour between the two teams was quickly laid bare by the performance of the Colours with Johannes protecting defence (to the point that rush keeper Giancarlo was unbeaten for 15’) and starting the counters with Diego and Oliviero finalising them and scoring a double hat trick.
Orange were heading towards an embarrassing defeat but minutes before the market windows closed they managed to get an emergency loan to go and buy Oliviero for an undisclosed sum. As a lot of cash was still missing to finalise the deal, the closest Colours’ player matching that imposing figure was Jonathan L which was convinced to swap side with an extra package made, among others, of crypto and commodities.

Immediately the exchange granted the game a new balance: Oliviero felt he had an obligation to score the same amount of goals for Orange as he did for Colours.
Harry and Yuness participated in the ‘Remuntada’ with crucial goals.
Unseen scenes happened on the stands: Orange male fans stole from Colours’ ones banners with Oliviero’s photo while females’ ones pledged to cancel their ‘Oliviero’ tattoo first thing on Monday, an irrevocable decision after the Italian scored the golden goal breaking their hearts and sealing the match at an unusual 7-7.

The Man of the Match award was among the least debated in the 22 years FDs history, rendering the votes count a mere formality. Oliviero was helped by Dario to bring home both the MOTM award and two balls in recognition of the double hat trick for the two different teams, a unique feature.

Soon after such performance, stories started flourishing about the Italian striker. Oliviero has always been the forbidden dream of his native town. The local Serie A Club, Udinese has never denied the desire to sign him: who wouldn’t? The problem for all is one of affordability. But there seems to be room for hope: the local newspaper ‘ Messaggero Veneto’ is speculating that fans are organising a crowdfunding to cover his price tag while his salary would be partially covered by proceed from Champions League football, something Oliviero’ goals would guarantee from year after joining.

What a difference a football player can make!

We close the commentary with a photo of the infamous ,Hydration Break’, reminding players in it that they are at risk of incrimination!

An image we all hope we’ll never see again!

COLOURS-ORANGE 7-7

GOALS
COLOURS: Oliviero (3), Diego (3), Amin
ORANGE: Oliviero (3), Vansh, Robbie, Youness (2)

TEAMS
COLOURS: Andrea M, Bijan, Amin, Giancarlo, Harry, Johannes, Kaan, Dario, Jonathan L (Oliviero), Yuv.
ORANGE: Robbie, Federico, Morteza, Jonathan R, Vansh, Youness, Ross, Arman, Davide, Oliviero (Jonathan L), Francesco.

Federico was warmly welcome back by his own set of fans who still had in their eyes the wonderful back heel goal he scored in his last game. We searched the web to find something that could at least get close but it was wasted time.

A breath of fresh air in the shape of two very young rookies graced the game. A young Australian boy by the name of Charlie came all the way from Perth to fulfil his dream to play in our theatre of dreams. He played only for 15-20’ but that was enough to earn him lifetime bragging rights: quite a bargain!

The other Rookie was Khaled, Nizard’s son, who had a hectic start: in fact due to late arrival of Al and Dario, he was forced to swap side twice. The move were made easy by the perceived talent of the young boy which made both teams eager to sign him on the spot. His agent father, Nizar, was overjoyed to cash in twice lucrative transfer fees after only few minutes…A rare case of a Kid subsidising his Dad!

Like father, like son. Nizar and Rookie son Khaled had both outstanding game on opposite sides.

The day also saw a special visit from Boston where our secret agent Christian, by working tirelessy underground , has made FDs the talk of town in the Cradle of Liberty. Such an impeccable job as an agent has turned Christian the top tipped next 007 agent. Speculation is riding high for the next movie’s title: ‘From Kensington Gardens with love’, ‘The man with the golden boot’, ‘Lose another day’ are the most recurring but perhaps’ Football Dads are forever’ is the best defining one.
Playing in the Boston League with many skilled South America player has made Christian looking like a dynamic Cafu’ on the left flank which he mastered all along the game.

The match started fast and Daoud scored after just few minutes with a volley from a corner by Giancarlo, following Hannes’ save. It looked like a typical Daoud day with plenty more to come. A day where a hat trick would be regarded as poor harvest and no bookmaker settled for it. Bijian and Francesco with a sharp angled shot widened the gap but Morteza on the opposite side, fed constantly by Johannes, Nizar and Dario, scored a couple to keep Orange in the game.

Unfortunately Daoud’s hamstring came back haunting him and he had to leave the pitch. The game opened up with ferocious counters on both sides: Al and Jonathan scored for Colours while Dario replicated for Orange to settle the score at 5-4 for Colours in normal time.

You could tell Orange were fuming for not making more of Daoud’s absence and stubbornly went into golden goal with ‘Revenge’ written all over it. And Revenge it was when Julien scored the golden goal in a short matter of minutes.

The game should have ended there but Orange successfully lobbied for and extension and changed the ‘terms and conditions’ of the game: the golden goal was ‘demetalised’ to silver and the new golden goal would win the overall game. Colours felt they were hardly done but accepted in the conviction they would have added the golden goal to their match victory. It was a badly placed bet as Morteza scored the new golden goal putting the final score at 6-5 for Colours and finishing his day with a hat trick

As on the stands Colours’ fans, unaware of such T&C, started rioting, a quick negotiation between the two teams ensued and an amicable agreement was found along these lines: ‘a silver and golden goal scored in quick succession allows the team scoring them (Orange) to claim victory without denying it to the team who won it in normal time ( Colours). This T&C only apply to today’s game’

A unique case where both teams won: if FDs cannot do it, who else?’

The Man of the Match award was hard work as there was not a clear, outstanding, consensual winner. Morteza scored a had trick adding a new dimension to his game but also missed few sitters, hence keeping his main feeder’s, Johannes, goal contribution at low level.

JR and Bijian had a good game scoring one each and delighted fans with highly skilled one-twos.

If there was one, surely the Al-Bassam would have grabbed the family MOTM award.The young Khaled displayed a game a lot more mature than his fourteen years of age, showing composure under pressure and never wasting a ball.

As for Nizar, it is not until you have to mark him that you realise how unpredictable is game is. Having the ability to shoot with both feet at equal power and precision, he can twist and turn in any direction giving the defender no clue.

But today is the day to sing praise to one of the few left unsung hero: Julien. As always he fought valiantly in midfield and on the day he was able to score the early golden goal that meant victory from a certified defeat. When asked what keeps him at this level, Julien paraphrased his compatriot Giroud: ‘It a battle to reach the top but is a war to stay there’.
La lutte continue

COLOURS-ORANGE 5-4

ORANGE-COLOURS 6-5

GOALS

ORANGE: Morteza (3), Johannes, Dario, Julien

COLOURS: Daoud, Bijan, Francesco, Al, Jonathan R

TEAMS

ORANGE: Paride, Christian, Federico, Hannes, Julien, Johannes, Dario, Morteza, Nizar.

COLOURS: Alessandro, Andrea M, Khaled, Bijan, Al, Matteo, Jonathan R, Francesco, Daoud.

Orange had to cope with a rotating keeper and few role defenders but that was a choice rather than necessity in the conviction that Hossam, alone at the centre of defence, was enough to scare any opposition away from the box, to get sucked into a midfield packed with plenty of shrewd Orange operators. A team with such forward traction would either score or concede loads. In fact both happened.

The two sets of fans had different hopes but the common belief was that they were in for the usual Saturday treat.

Colours instead had a more defensive structure with Giancarlo deputising for one of the many missing central defenders, Andre’ and Andrea as full backs with Rookie Emanuele, Edo’s brother, active on the right flank with licence to advance and operate between enemy lines. He had a solid game, often facing off to his brother on the opposite side. Given such prudent Colours’ set up Bijan felt compelled to play in a more forward position flanking Dario alone in midfield with Davide just behind Daoud who played a sole striker.

Edoardo and Emanuele played in opposite teams to make sure victory staid in the family

Such unorthodox formations were untested and it didn’t take long to prove them exposed to mounting attacks from both sides

Colours were faster to adapt to the unusual gameplan and Daoud made sure that whenever a ball was played to him, he would make the most of it starting with one goal and finishing with a handful. While Colours maintained the lead also thanks to a brace by prolific Bijan, Orange were always in the game courtesy of Aurian who simply cannot stop scoring, to the point that his valuation has shot up to a level unaffordable to most clubs.

Francesco also scored one and assisted twice: his goals might have stalled a bit but his Goal/Assists ratio is up there with the best .

At this point with the score at 5-3 for the Colours few things happened. Daoud, and before Davide, picked up an injury and that reduced the Colours’ firing power. But the game changer happened when Oliviero, until then ambulating without a purpose, shrugged off the last of many Negroni he had just few hours before and finally put to work that right foot of his which is as predictable as it is lethal. In a breath taking sequence he laid a hat trick with angled, low, razor-sharp shots that put Orange in front.

From there on, thanks to more goals by Adam and clockwork from midfield led by Morteza, Orange never looked back and sealed the day with an emphatic 10-7 win. It was not always plain sailing but they deserved victory and in the end at times Orange attack was too much for Colours’ defence to cope with despite reiterated saves from Alessandro.

The game and the weather took a lot out of the energies of the players to the point that the golden goal was not played. Few fans complained claiming that golden goal is a birth right and cannot be taken away on the simple ground of exhaustion. The matter was closed with the promise that next Saturday both the golden and the platinum goal will scored.

As for Man of the Match the first half one was Daoud, the second half Oliviero but the MOTM of both half was again Aurian who will use part of the award proceeds to buy a bigger cabinet. Few voters wrote Negroni as their MOTM and to be fair that was the game changer.

ORANGE-COLOURS 10-7

GOALS

ORANGE: Aurian (4), Oliviero (3), Francesco, Adam (2)

COLOURS: Daoud (5), Bijan (2)

TEAMS

ORANGE: Hossam, Morteza, Jonathan R, Edo, Aurian, Oliviero, Francesco, Adam,

COLOURS: Alessandro, Andrea M, Giancarlo, Andre’, Emanuele, Bijan, Dario, Davide, Daoud

The unpredictability of football and the uniqueness of its protagonists made today’s game one where bookmakers had heaven and hell: they could have either become rich or defaulted. A couple experienced the latter, filing for bankruptcy as they were complacent after the first half result. They should have known better: some of the Colours’ players would have not gone down without leaving their own mark on the game.

The two teams looked very balanced for the first 10’. All three keepers answered the call of duty with Paride opting for an outside role as attacking defender, specialised on aerial raids from set pieces in the Colours’ ranks. Then suddenly an unstoppable Jonathan R (JR) sprung to life dominating a midfield crowded with star players. As if that was not enough JR opened the score for Orange with a formidable shot from the distance terminating its run just under the bar. As his amazing momentum was both sustained and progressing at one point few opposition players took it easy in the conviction that JR would test positive at the post match drug check and Colours would be handed a default 3-0 victory.

Well, that was a major mistake from the Colours as anyway Orange were not only JR dependent but they could count on a team rock solid in each department able to connect with speed and precision resulting in a fluency that pleased spectators’ eyes.Hossam, Federico and Bijian erected a defensive wall which was not easy to either climb or go around. Digging was not an option. And when Colours made it through, guardian Tony was there to deny the ultimate access.

In midfield Orange were spoilt for choice: Hussein was dictating the tempo as well as freeing strikers with straight, penetrating passes which cut through Colours’ defence like knife into butter. Julien, Davide, Forteza and Smayan provided the rest: a mix of tenacity, liveliness, assists as well as clinical finalisation. The young and lively Artman was always available on the left flank to provide optionality growing in stature game after game, requiring a dedicated marking.

Such an efficient set up would go and add, after JR’s opener, other four goals by Davide ( scoring in back to back games) Bijian, Forteza and Edo own goal as the whole Colours’ defence had to cope with massive pressure.

At 5-0 down Colours decided they’d enough: under Hannes’ leadership defence steadied: Andre’ on the right flank hardly put a foot wrong while Edo on the left one grew in confidence and shut the door to the Orange assaults which lost ferocity throughout the game. Colours’ midfield started functioning both in protecting defence and, more importantly, feeding constantly striker in what looked an unlikely remuntada. But the belief grew along with the goals, with three winning headers in succession by Aurian, Jonathan L (JL) and Paride complemented by a brace from Johannes and a strike by Andrea so that at 11.45 the score went from 0-5 to 6-5 for the Colours who succeeded in one of the best, if not the best, remuntada on records.

The vigour and intensity of the game was such that it took a toll in terms of injuries: first Orange were deprived of their talisman, Hussein, then there in-form JR but equally opposition had to cope without Paride and then Edo.

Colours had gone from a certain, disastrous defeat that would have consigned them to the hall of shame to an unbelievable, nails biting ‘Remuntada’ for a prominent place in the hall of fame and now there were faced with the possibility of a glorious comprehensive victory if they scored, cherry on the cake, the magical golden goal.

Not only they did that but the goal was such that only a restricted bunch of past champions like Maradona, Beckham, Rooney and Xabi Alonso scored it in such a fashion.

Jonathan L received an innocuous ball from Giancarlo just inside his own half and, back to the goal, sensing that the goalkeeper might have been off his line, with the killing instinct of a born striker turned and suddenly sent a diabolical, long shot into the goal. When the ball inflated the net the crowd erupted giving JL a bipartisan standing ovation, grateful that such goals can only be seen them on a Saturday morning at the FDs Kensington Gardens Arena where miracles are performed on a weekly basis. This is a goal only few players can score: those with an intimate, if not privileged relationship with the ball. JL has officially entered such a list.

Exceptionally the goal was filmed live (see below) by Paride and consigned to future generations

At three quarter of the game the Man of the Match award was a sure property of JR but then events turned Colours from villains to heroes with JL scoring twice, the second a golden goal living long in the memory of fans. While MG12 was poetry in motion, today was a tale of two teams who experienced joy and despair, pain and elation in equal measure.

It was a blessing for those lucky enough to be there: for the others just turn up next Saturday at 10am when the factory of miracles opens the doors.

COLOURS-ORANGE 8-6 (0-5 first half)

GOALS

COLOURS: Andrea M, Aurian (2), Paride, Johannes (2), Jonathan L (2)

ORANGE: Jonathan R, Edo (og), Federico, Davide, Bijan, Forteza

TEAMS

COLOURS: Alessandro, Andre’, Edo, Hannes, Andrea M, Paride, Anton, Johannes, Giancarlo, Aurian, Jonathan L.

ORANGE: Tony, Hossam, Federico, Bijan, Julien, Davide, Jonathan R, Hussein, Forteza, Smayan, Arman

The stage was set for a performance of a lifetime: bright sun, immaculate pitch and the undulating greenery outside the pitch framed a picture that looked painted by Michelangelo in his first ever sport endeavour. Noblesse oblige.

Despite the noise and the excitement there was no room for animosity between the two sets of fans, ITALY and Rest of the World (ROW), well aware of their own luck to witness something that will reverberate across generation. ‘I was there’ is one of those legacy Dads are sure to pass onto their kids and grandchildren. And the pictures are there to prove it is all real.

Seats were sold out the day the news that FDs had chosen Wycombe for the MG12 came out. Luckily, St Adam is surrounded by hills for the joy of few thousand onlookers who could not believe they could watch ‘THE’ game and for free. It’s like when you win the lottery and they later tell you the amount was wrong, in that it was ten times bigger.

As players came out of the tunnel the noise was deafening and the only way they could communicate was by gestures: at which the Italian team easily outperformed Rest of the World (ROW). The soft and thick grass invited diving, another Italian specialty, but three official referees were a warning to any misconduct.

Everyone was expecting a fast, uncompromising start as both teams by DNA regard tactics as a waste of time for which fans should get a discount on their ticket, if and when it occurs. But to witness a goal after barely 4 minutes had gone was beyond the wildest expectations. It was Yuv who got hold of the ball outside the Italy box on the corner and, without thinking twice, unleashed a shot that any keeper could only dream of getting close, let alone stopping it.

Such a fast start by ROW did not mean one way traffic: on the opposite front Marco had a great opportunity but there was no time to regret it that Diego D, assisted by Francesco, sent in a low curling shot so close to the post that it evaded the keeper’s reach. The crowd, already at boiling point, literally erupted when Marco grabbed a ball well outside the box and sent a rocket into the roof of the net to score a sure contender for both the goal of the season and of all Master Games alike. ITALY was in front for the first time at 2-1. Unfortunately for ITALY Diego had to leave the pitch soon after, following a hard clash with Bijan.

Only 16’ had gone on the clock and fans had already been treated with a storm of emotions that typically require a dozen Premier League games or a full Serie A season to get any close.

The finest experts could have been forgiven for thinking that Italy was punching above his weight as the two goals were rather the expression of isolated individual skills than a coral, engaging teamwork. Midfield was somehow unable to shield defence and the absence of someone, like Yassin, who could be in three different places at the same time, was badly felt.
Massimo and Federico in central defence were performing multiple miracles but the red devils in the ROW frontline were just focussed on scoring at all costs.
Daoud was on purpose retreating its sphere of influence to avoid man marking and that allowed him to be crucial both in the build up of the most dangerous attacks, as well as penetrating with speed and momentum the crowded Italian box partnering in deadly one-twos, with his partners in crime, in turn Yuv, Aurian, Jonathan and Adam.

In one of those ROW found a goal with Daoud (2-2) whose shot was first saved and then deflected in goal to give ROW a deserved parity, considering that Alessandro till then covered himself in glory with at least three fine saves. Fully conscious of the damage their attack could inflict at any moment to any defence, ROW did not relent, in fact put up the pressure until ITALY had to concede again, courtesy a close range header by Aurian in one of his many incursions.

At 3-2 at half time for the ROW the game was wide open but it was clear that the odds had shifted back in favour of ROW. Italians though came back into the pitch in a combative mode but ROW could count on a sort of double layered defence made by the granitic, evergreen trio of Hannes, Hossam and Chetan doubled up by the more fluid line of Bijan, Kaan, Nadir, Thomas and Victor Jr who could both defend and offend.
Italian hopes of regaining parity were met by the crude reality of a most wonderful goal by again Aurian who sent the ball in the Italian top corner after a couple of fantastic one-twos that put the French through the Azzurri defence.

At 4-2 for ROW with some 20’ to play the game was in theory still up for grab and credit to the Italians for not giving up. It was rookie Edoardo, until then a talented playmaker, to make ITALY to believe in a remuntada with a shot from outside the box: 4-3 and game on again.
Marco was a constant threat: in one occasion he dribbled his way to a free shot from the edge of the box but slid while shooting and sent the ball just wide as opposed to the back of net. In another occasion the Italian was met by a hard tackle by Bijan in the middle of the box but the VAR confirmed that the Ref decision to deny a penalty was right. Yet Giancarlo, for the sake of going to penalties which is good for the audience, begged for the decision to be revised: to no avail. Undeterred the Italian asked if its three nutmegs on the day could be converted in a penalty but again the heartless Ref was adamant. 4-3 to ROW it was in the end. Another Titans’ clash decided on the finest of margins.

But, as stated in the covenants of the MG12 statute, there was the golden goal to play and if the losing team, that is ITALY, scored it then the ultimate winner would have been decided on penalty shoot-out.

Few minutes into the golden goal during a heated exchange in the ROW box, Davide found a way to send a surgical, low shot into the distant ROW post through a forest of legs sending the Azzurri fans crazy. As the goal was very quick, for good measure ITALY scored a second golden goal with Dario on Francesco’s assist.

Then the unthinkable happened: ROW illegally refused bluntly to play penalty-shoot out! Perhaps the news was leaked that both Alessandro and Paride, who played second half in ITALY goal, spent last week watching videos of every penalty taken by each ROW player in the last 20 years and knew by heart , with a 5cm approximation, where they would have placed the ball in each of the forthcoming five penalties.

ITALY lawyers, assisted by those of Morocco who successfully reclaimed the Africa Cup from Senegal, are filing for justice and there is every reason to expect a fair sentence. Penalties for ROW can be harsh and range from life ban to MGs, foot the bill of new Stadium or, as a minimum, start MG13 at 3-0 down. Watch the space.

One only Man of the Match award looked mean to many players. Among the Italians of note were the performances of Alessandro, Marco, Edoardo, Massimo and Federico.

From the ROW team, Daoud added a new dimension to his game becoming, if possible, even more lethal despite scoring less.
The Premier League has put a veto on his Goal/Assist ratio to be published not to embarrass Bruno Fernandes.
Yuv was a constant thorn in the ITALY defence with his full set of skills in constant display for the delight of the ROW fans at home and in the stands.
But today there was no match was Aurian who scored a brace, one of rare beauty: a precious tally which was the difference between victory and defeat for someone who is not even a pure striker. The coveted MOTD was his to take away

The post match was about champagne flowing, MG12 complimentary caps for everyone courtesy of the two Victor and Luiza while the big screen was broadcasting the sponsors’ logos and a movie on the history of MGs. For some reasons another one about the history of FDs was not put up but I have posted it on the group. It wraps in 4’ our history with pics and photos going back 22 years.

It was a magical place (thanks Francesco) and a day to remember. Long live Master Games!

ROW-ITALY 4-3

GOALS
ROW: Yuv, Aurian, Daoud, Aurian
ITALY : Diego D, Marco, Edoardo

TEAMS
ROW: Tony, Hossam, Hannes, Chetan, Thomas, Bijan, Kaan, Victor Jr, Al, Nadir, Aurian, Jonathan, Yuv, Daoud, Adam.
ITALY: Alessandro C, Paride, Massimo, Riccardo, Alessandro R, Andrea M, Federico, Dario, Davide, Giacomo, Matteo, Diego F, Leonardo, Edoardo, Giancarlo, Francesco, Marco, Diego D.

There was plenty of that in Saturday’s match, a tightly contested 11-a-side game played under a scorching sun and temperatures more typical of the Equator than London.

When he saw Julien kicking the ball towards the goal, Hannes threw his head to prevent that. A successful defensive move whose unfortunate by-product was a deep cut in his head.

The blood briefly turned the Palace pitch into a low-budget war movie, before Hannes’ well-trained platelets kicked in and stopped the bleeding.

Later on it was Francesco to test again Hannes’ determination. This time Hannes put his leg between the Italian striker’s boot and the ball. Another goal was avoided, and the memories of it will live for long in both players’ legs.

Despite such heroics, Hannes’ Orange teams went down 1-0 when Julien scored the first goal, and was never able to get the lead against a better organised Colours side.

Tactically, the Colours had taken an unusual decision: field Daoud as a midfielder rather than in his usual role as centre-forward. In this position, Daoud delivered an impressive performance, sending a number of inviting through-balls to his attacking partners Francesco, Morteza, Dario and Marco, unstoppable on the right wing.

To the Oranges’ credit, it should be noted that they played with one man less for most of the match, although the numbers kept fluctuating, as Juv and Jonathan left the pitch earlier.

When players parity was restored, the Colours found a way to regain the advantage offering a short-term contract to Kofi, a passer-by that had stopped to watch from the sideline, and had been helping to collect balls.

Wearing a Ghana national team shirt, Kofi appeared incredibly fit and eager to play, and didn’t have to be asked twice to join the party.

Kofi’s arrival brought new freshness to the Colours’ play, who could now count on a fast-running midfielder with the flair of a young Michael Essien although there were unintended health consequences with some female fans fainting when he decided to go shirt-less.

The Oranges finally managed to get an even number of players when Oliviero finally arrived on the pitch, in the middle of the second half.

Unfortunately, the young Italian was still hungover from what must have been a very long night and lacked his usual speed and precision. Still the Oranges remained in the game, drawing level at 4-4 and entering Golden Goal time just one goal down (5-4).

Eager to end with a positive result, they went all-in gaining a series of corner kicks and getting very close to score it. However, in doing so, they left ample space for the Colours’ counterattacks and eventually got punished.

Fresh from playing on the immaculate Brentford pitch for the annual UWL Staff-Student match, Francesco had struggled to readjust to the Palace’s more… demanding… surface. Usually reliable in controlling the ball, he had seen his touch betray him more than once, but when it mattered most he found the necessary clarity.

Receiving a clever assist from Morteza on the counterattack, Francesco suddenly found himself racing towards the last Orange defender, with the ball rolling perfectly halfway between the two players.

When he realised that the man standing between him and glory was not Hannes, he knew he had to go for it. He sprinted as if his life depended on it, reached the ball a fraction earlier and slid it into the net.

In the after match, while Daoud was recognised as Man of the Match and Kofi was busy answering calls from the Ghana national team manager, there was only one thing in the mind of each player: the Master Game in Wycombe in a week time. With every player just praying to be in Hannes’ team!

COLOURS-ORANGES 6-4

COLOURS

Daoud, Francesco, Bijan, Marco, Dario, Diego, Paride, Kofi, Julien, Morteza and more

ORANGES

Chetan, Hannes, Johannes, Kaan, Robbie, Giacomo, Andrea, Yuv, Ollie, Aurian and more

But when players like Matteo and Nizar decide to do that, like they did today, the reason is only tactical and aimed at balancing the game which saw, among the 25 players an abundance of strikers. In fact , both Nizar and Matteo are experiencing a sustained, explosive growth in their respective performances and the peak is nowhere to be seen.

Did the experiment work? Well, suffice to say that more than a few commentators said that after watching their performance today they could not help but thinking that ‘Liberi’ like Beckenbauer and central defender like Cannavaro, both Balon d’Or, are perhaps overvalued, without denying their value and achievements.

Both Matteo and Nizard commanded authority and strength, aerial prowess, tactical acumen, space awareness while never wasting a ball, knowing where and how to feed strikers by anticipating their moves. It was not a coincidence that the score today was unusually low as strikers found the wall both thick, tall and wide.

Surely the presence of iconic players like Hossam and Bijan, not to mention Thomas on a mission from Munich, made their job easier but there is nothing easy about fighting FDs and FKs.

The match was really balanced for a long time after the start: Oliviero took sometime to adjust his aiming but fans knew it would only be a matter of time before he found the net, till then well guarded by Tony L, back from a long injury to test his conditions ahead of the MG12. When asked in the post match interview what he will do to be sure that he will not miss MG12, Tony calmy reply: ‘I’ll do whatever it takes!’, a quote echoed by Mario Draghi in a slightly less dramatic situation.

Colours seized the momentum taking full advantage from the fact that on the opposite Orange strikers were firing blank as Alessandro was in its recurring mood to send back whatever was thrown to him. The Colours attack has the full range in terms of frontline: from experienced Francesco and mobile Adam to prolific Oliviero, to finish with young, entrepreneurial Arman who was at the right time in the right place to tap in a vagabond ball not cleared by Orange defence and beat his own Dad.

You could tell by the Orange immediate reaction that they were not happy with the result: Davide had a couple of opportunities, Matteo moved forward, Daoud would not accept a second consecutive no-goal game, while the rest of the squad brought forward the centre of gravity and put Colours’ defence under immense pressure.

In one of these fast and furious assaults, Al from the right side put in a fast, low ball in the Colours’ box, away from Alessandro range only for it to hit Nadir and terminate in his own goal. It was most unfortunate as until then, and after, Nadir had an excellent, dynamic game worth anyway of a MOTM nomination.

As the clock was ticking Orange needed someone who could turn the tide. Yet again they found it in Daoud: despite having this rare ability to argue both with teammates and opponents, he never loses focus and desire. He stopped a ball well outside the box and before anyone could interfere with , he unleashed a deadly shot who brought the game to parity: 2-2

The ensuing golden goal saw the two sides fighting to the last ditch until Johannes decided it was time to go home as winner by planting a shot into the Orange roof to seal the score at 3-2 for the Colours.

It was not the kind of game with goals every other minute: nobody scored more than one goal, a rare event in games often in double digit figures from both sides. Perhaps the proximity of MG12 introduces, if possible, an extra element of nervousness as everyone is desperately trying to secure its place in the starting XI. Anyway, today was opportunity for low scorers, read defenders and keepers to shine and stake a claim for the coveted MOTM trophy.
It was reassuring to have Tony L back in goal but today the safe pair of hands were those of Alessandro who had a huge impact on the final result with reiterated saves and brave dives on the hard terrain. After catching many balls Alessandro set his hands, deservedly so, on the Man of The Match trophy and looks forward for more silverware in the MG12.

Talking of which, here the latest on the MG12.

There are around 30 players registered, 20 of which (including families) are staying behind for the lunch at the pub chosen by Francesco.

As for transport, most of the people without cars will be given a lift by those with spare seats but realistically not everyone. Once we’ll have final numbers we’ll let you know so you can make your own arrangements.

Uber is the simplest solution: it takes 1 hour and costs 90£, 20-25£ each for a car of four. Public transport is not viable as it requires more than 2h to get there.
Please register if you haven’t done it yet and want to play. Link below

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSccpqmZuzVTrcjeyHumfOCR1MukFQCrbFGMsrdnJVWUpL-vjg/viewform

COLOURS-ORANGE 3-2

GOALS

COLOURS: Oliviero, Arman, Johannes

ORANGE: Nadir (og), Daoud

TEAMS

ORANGE : Tony, Hossam, Riccardo, Matteo, Thomas, Jonathan D, Julien, Andrea M, Al, Forteza, Smayan, Davide, Daoud

COLOURS: Alessandro, Bijan, Anton K, Nadir, Nizar, Johannes, Jonathan R, Adam Giancarlo, Oliviero, Francesco, Arman

It’s a well-known fact that players’ attendance at the weekly game tends to increase exponentially as the date of the Master Game approaches.

While ordinary weekly matches occasionally struggle to reach quota, the sight of the sacred Master Game causes retired legends, injured defenders and missing strikers to reappear spontaneously. A phenomenon known in academic circles as Ragni’s Law of Football Availability.

The reason is clear: the competition to be included in the squad, let alone be part of the starting XI, is so fierce that even celebrated stars like Mbappé or Vinicius would struggle to be considered unless they first show up to demonstrate their prowess on the grass of Kensington Palace.

With this in mind, nobody was surprised to see a huge turnout (23 players) and the return of a familiar face, Daoud, back after a few months’ absence.

Dressed with his signature long trousers, Daoud had a decent game for the Oranges and showed some of his classic moves, but failed to get on the scoresheet, something unusual for such a prolific striker. His teammates did not have better luck, with the only exception of the ever-reliable Ross who managed to score twice. Still not enough to avoid losing 5-2 to a stronger (and luckier) Colours team.

Colours benefited from several advantages: they could field an extra player and the only professional goalkeeper (Alessandro). But the real plus for them turned out to be having Aurian in the squad, author of a flawless performance, crowned by a hat-trick.

Playing with cinematic flair, and aided in attack by Francesco, JonathanR and fellow filmmaker Noah, the young Frenchman set the tone by scoring twice in the first 20 minutes, allowing Colours to get an early lead. Further opportunities to extend the lead were squandered by the Colours, perhaps out of an excess of confidence.

But with FDs you can never relax. In fact, Oranges got back in the game with two goals from Ross, proving they could overcome the numeric disadvantage. But the draw didn’t last for long.

When a deadly ball arrived in their box, Al went confidently towards it to clear it, but his touch actually sent the ball into its own net, much to goalkeeper Kaan’s dismay. A classic own goal that allowed the Colours to regain the lead (3-2).

After Aurian further increased the advantage with his third goal (4-2), Oranges knew they had to do something extraordinary to change their fate, but struggled to create chances. Morteza, Hussain and Julien tried cutting through the Colours defence from every angle, but the task proved to be more difficult than navigating the Strait of Hormuz.

As the official FD timekeeper, Bijan kept reminding his Oranges team that time was running out: “15 minutes left!”, “14 minutes left!”, “13 minutes left!” and so on. A dramatic countdown worth of a NASA space launch.

With only few minutes left, Matteo, who had been commanding stoically the Colours’ defence, asked permission to go upfront.

He didn’t disappoint and within a few minutes scored the Golden Goal, fixing the score at a comfortable 5-2 for the Colours, and bringing home a well-deserved MOTM Award.

You may wonder why Matteo doesn’t play routinely as a striker, considering he has one of the best scoring record in the entire FD history in terms of goals per minute played in a forward position. That’s a reasonable question, and the ultimate manager’s dilemma. He is terrific both as a defender and an attacker, a true jack-of-all trades.

Perhaps the only solution would be to clone him, but the science is not there yet.

COLOURS

Alessandro, Matteo (1), Aurian (3), Noah, Gregorio, Francesco, JonathanR, and others

ORANGES

Morteza, Hussain, Julien, Kaan, Johannes, Dario, Ross (2), Al (1, own goal), and others

The Saturday game is such a breath of fresh air for Dads and Kids: if denied, it would make the world a worse place. FDs is still a well-kept secret: luckily so.

If football fans knew that they could live a multiple of the emotions felt in the PSG/Bayern game during the week, they would flock to Kensington Gardens Saturday in, Saturday out and Royal Park police would call it a day. Please keep it a secret!

Aurian and Gregorio were at the core of the Orange dramatic victory. Not for the first time!

As for the game bookmakers frantically imputed data of each player into AI to try and predict the score to then place their bets accordingly. A slight advantage was given to the Colours team as being a man up and with the only role keeper, that is no less than Alessandro, present on the day guarding their goal.AI though is not a perfect science and surely FDs have the talent and unpredictability to upset any forecast, however sound. We have seen it before.

After few minutes of studying each other both teams locked horns, yet the game looked well balanced with Colours lacking accuracy in front of goals and Orange finding in Alessandro and his defence a tough opponent to beat.
Orange had in Gregorio their centre of permanent gravity orchestrating the game at will with a tempo suitable to each player. Nizar took possession of the left flank, holding the ball and feeding with precision the incoming strikers, Aurian and Davide in the middle and Giancarlo on the right.

Federico, after outstanding performances, was confirmed as central defender, playing in line with totemic Bijan, surrounded by the expert Andrea M, the ever-mobile Anton and Smayan as well as versatile Kaan.

To unlock this kind of games it is often said that you need a piece of skill or a killing instinct, in other words things that cannot be trained. it was Giancarlo, back from 5 months of injury, to open the magic box and score a goal that could have come from the likes of Baggio or Zola. In fact, it was reminiscent of his very goal scored in the MG11.

This time though a lot more difficult as the Italian was surrounded by at least a dozen defenders, probably more. When receiving the ball just inside the box, Giancarlo sent half the defence to the ground by faking a shot with his favourite right foot, then back heeled the ball on the opposite side to chip the keeper and the other half defence desperately sliding in.

Fans went wild but what attracted Giancarlo’s attention few minutes later was a sign on the stands held high by a fan and reading: ‘sorry I missed your goal! Giancarlo, can you do it again please?!’

The Italian duly obliged scoring a copy cut though this time with his right foot and on the opposite angle of the goal. ‘Paganini non ripete’: it was the Italian violin virtuoso that refused to repeat the same piece even at the King’s asking but Giancarlo would never refuse it to a FDs fan! Same grace, different attitude.

Against such an Orange team it was always hard if not inconceivable to come back from two goals. However, a goal from Francesco gave Colours hope only for Nizar to impose its law and score on the opposite side to restore the gap: 3-1 for Orange. Colours had youth and experience in their ranks: they just needed to apply the right mix at the opportune moment. It was Yuness who proved the theory right, as many times before, by beating the Orange keeper and making the Colours’ fans believing again. But Colours’ goal only made Orange more determined to reclaim the gap and possibly expand it. First Davide shaved the bottom post with a great shot and later, after a prolonged and furious assault, a lost ball was hoovering high in the middle of the Colours’ box only for Aurian to chest it up and, shoulders to the goal, convert it with an overhead kick just under the bar. On the day, fans had the privilege to see more incredible goals than what they typically see in a Premier League season.
That’s what makes FDs Season Ticket best value for money, despite being very expensive.
There were still 25’ to before the golden goal and Colours refuse to surrender: it was Yuness again to score: Colours fans went crazy and they really represented the 13^th man pushing them to the unthinkable. But Orange resisted the charge with every rotating keeper refusing to concede in front of a granitic defence which erected, brick by brick, an impenetrable wall. The final whistle came as a liberation for the Orange while Colours were ready to exact revenge with the golden goal but it was not to be as Federico, in one of his attacking raids, sealed a comprehensive victory (5-3) for the deserving Orange able to alternate strength and skills accordingly.

As for the Man of the Man Aurian’s overhead bicycle kick goal got him a automatic nomination, compounded by an assist and a very lively game. It is a goal that qualifies for the nomination of the ‘Goal of the Season’. Among the Colours’ team Johannes and Yousef deserve credit for keeping their team in the game with creating and finalising many chances. Often big battles are decided on details: what if Yuness played with proper football shoes ? It’s ironic that with the value of the MOTM award he could have bought thousand football shoes…
It was indeed a week of ‘what if?’. If it was not for the Americans, Europe would be speaking German. If it was not for the Brits, America would be speaking French.
BUT to conclude the matter, let’s not forget that if it was not for an Italian, America would have never been discovered…

Back to the MOTM, even allowing for the conflict between the narrator and the award recipient, Giancarlo today stole the show with two goals of rare beauty. He was also denied a goal straight from corner, saved on the line by a brave header from Julian. And the Italian was unbeaten in goal for at least 8’, a personal best.
In the after match interviewed, hugging the trophy like a child, an emotional Giancarlo stated: ‘ To come back after such a long time and be Man of the Match makes me proud and happy. I owe a big debt of gratitude to the CLUB, Teammates and Fans for never doubting my return. As a token of respect for them all I have instructed my agent to turn down, without even looking at them, every single offer from any other club!.

It was a day to remember: a day when Football surpassed Art as a way to express beauty.

ORANGE-COLOURS 5-3

GOALS

ORANGE: Giancarlo (2), Nizar, Aurian, Federico

COLOURS: Youness (2), Francesco

TEAMS

ORANGE: Bijan, Andrea M, Federico, Anton, Kaan, Gregorio, Smayan, Aurian, Davide, Giancarlo, Nizar

COLOURS: Alessandro, Chetan, Riccardo, Johannes, Julien, Al, Morteza, Andrea R, Jonathan R, Nadir, Youness, Francesco

After last week’s diversion, everything went back to normal on Saturday.

FDs returned to the Pond and delighted fans and passers-by with an enthralling 11-side match that saw the bibbed Orange team crush the Colours with a phenomenal performance.

The Orange supremacy was based on impeccable organisation, a rock-solid defence, a total control of midfield, and extraordinary individual skills from the likes of Aurian, JonathanR and Hussain. Think smart movements, brilliant first-touch passes and precise shots in goal.

On the Colours side, there was plenty of talent but the team wasn’t placed too well on the pitch. Players seemed to congregate on certain areas of the pitch, leaving other unattended. An Italian coach like Conte or Allegri would have been horrified.

As a result, their play was generally more predictable and prone to errors in the build-up. Still, they fought hard to stay in the match. It was Oliviero to keep the flame burning for their side playing a superb match (despite having had a late night and very little sleep…) and scoring twice.

When Bijan left, the Oranges graciously allowed the Colours to recruit Hannes, a move that gave more balance to their defence, but didn’t fix the lack of success in attack. It was the Orange team to put the final seal on the match, scoring also the Golden Goal (6-3).

Aurian walked home with a well-deserved MOTM, which he will prominently display on the shelf next to the BAFTA award that his short documentary is seeking to win.

MASTER GAME 12

But the greatest news of the week is the announcement from the Board of the date and location of the next Master Game (the 12th in the series).

The match will take place on Sunday 31st May, kick-off 10.30am at Adams Park, the stadium of League One team Wycombe Wanderers FC.

Opened in 1990, and located in a beautiful countryside setting, it has a capacity of 10,446, (so unfortunately not all fans will be to attend), and promise to deliver an unforgettable experience. While previous MGs played at Chelsea Training Ground and at the SkyEx Community Stadium remain memorable, this will be the first time that FDs play in such a professional stadium.

The show will be on every part of the pitch, including the giant LED screen that will show photos and videos of our past events, as well as some discreet promotional messages from our amazing sponsors.

More details on the event, including transportation options and how to register will be available soon.

In the meantime….. start training at double the intensity, clear your agenda, book a flight if you have moved away from London, and ensure you have the official shirt. This is an event you don’t want to miss!

The eve of every Saturday’s FD match is usually a calm and relaxed affair. Players wrap up the working week, have a light dinner (strictly no drinks), avoid all excess, and go to bed early to ensure a good night’s rest before the match.

Last Friday, however, the calm was broken by disturbing news: Kensington Gardens had been closed due to a “drone threat” targeting the nearby Israeli Embassy.

“A Met Police chemical, biological, radiological and nuclear team was seen near the park’s bandstand” reported the BBC “while police divers were spotted near the Round Pond.”

The idea of police divers combing the Pond and recovering our long-lost footballs made us smile, but this was no joke. Our holy ground under attack? Something had to be done.

While the group chat exploded, the most senior FDs worked tirelessly through the night, drafting scenarios and proposing creative solutions to safeguard Saturday’s match.

SATURDAY MORNING

By 5am, everyone was glued to the group chat awaiting updates.

Very soon, it became clear that the Park would remain closed, depriving us of both the Palace and the Pond pitch.

The most precise indication came from Andrea M, who shared a screenshot of his mysterious Police Tracker.

I know what you are thinking: how does Andrea get access to such sensitive information? Probably best to leave the question unanswered.

LOOKING FOR A NEW VENUE

With Kensington Gardens confirmed closed, it was time to agree on a new venue.

Francesco’s bid to relocate at Southfields Park, conveniently (for him) within walking distance of his home, initially gained traction. Eventually, however, a better option emerged: the old football pitches at Hyde Park, right in front of the Iranian Embassy.

After quick diplomatic talks, the Iranians (who recently proved to be a better footballing nation than Italy by qualifying for the World Cup) confirmed safe passage for all players and fans and proclaimed a unilateral truce for the time of the match.

When FD intelligence confirmed that the pitch was free of Foxes, that harmful species of young humans that tends to occupy every space, the decision was taken, and everyone converged towards the new place.

THE PLAYERS

18 players, including two professional goalkeepers, is as good as it gets (note: FDs play with any number of players, but 9-a-side is undoubtedly the sweet spot).

Returning after some time, Nizar surprised everyone by appearing completely dressed in white, an outfit more suitable to tennis than football. Luckily for him, the ground was so dry that he managed to keep his white shirt and shorts immaculate for the entire match.

A further surprise was the recruiting of rookie Hussain from Oman, bringing to the Club the 73rd nation. It’s not an understatement to say that he demonstrated an incredible amount of talent, playing with the elegance of a vintage Zinedine Zidane. with one crucial improvement: no head-butts to the Italians.

THE MATCH

The match began in chaotic fashion, with both teams conceding goals too embarrassing to describe. After that initial screw-up, however, the music changed and things got serious.

The Oranges deployed a very high defensive line, with Hossam, Davide, and the two Victors pushing up almost to the halfway line. Ahead of them, Bijan, Andrea, and Nizar operated in tight spaces, while Hussain quickly established himself as the central pivot.

This occasionally left them exposed to rapid counter-attacks from the Colours, but overall the gamble paid off. Two goals in succession from Andrea and Nizar brought the Oranges up 3-1, a lead that could have been even greater if not for Alessandro’s heroics and for amazing defence from Hannes, Chetan and Federico.

Back after his positive debut last week, Morteza took control of the Colours’ midfield, acting as an essential link between defense and attack. Playing as a young Pirlo, he distributed balls elegantly to the two inverted wingers, Al on the left and Dario on the right, and striker Francesco.

After plenty of attacks and countless corner kicks, however, the Colours seemed unable to score, with all their plays failing mainly due to mistakes and excess of personalism. Tension started to mount among them, with some shouting, complaining and finger pointing. Never a good sign.

Eventually, Al scored one, reducing the gap. Sensing their moment, the Colours pushed everyone forward. When Federico’s shot ricocheted around the box, Francesco reacted first, tapping in with a classic Inzaghi-style finish. 3–3.

But the Colours’ moment was already over. Undeterred by the draw, the Oranges kept their cool and went back upfront. Hannes and Chetan saved a couple of sure goals with incredible defending, but even they could do nothing when Nizar first, and Andrea later, scored to seal the Orange win at 5-3.

Hussain was a natural contender for Man of the Match, his performance was super, but the jury awarded it to Morteza. In a team plagued by disagreements and far too much shouting, he delivered a display of rare intensity and precision, without uttering a single word. Admirable.

ORANGES-COLOURS 5-3

ORANGES

Paride, Hossam, Davide, Victor, Victor Jr, Bijan, Hussain, Andrea, Nizar

COLOURS

Alessandro, Federico, Hannes, Chetan, Morteza, JonathanR, Dario, Al, Francesco

Colours hit the ground running also thanks to the one man advantage. With the luxury of having Hossam and Bijan in defence, Colours knew they could afford playing a very aggressive 2-3-2 at the risk of exposing themselves to the deadly Orange counters aimed at the ever mobile and deadly strikers Adam and Oliviero.
The high pressure by the Colours paid immediate dividend. Giancarlo was back from a long absence and it showed at the beginning but when he moved up the pitch things improved, scoring also a goal. Dario and Francesco were the natural and prolific terminals with a hat trick each. Dario indulged in his love story with the ball but, as soon as team mates complained, he just put it in the bottom of the net, turning criticism into adulation.
Oliviero on the opposite side literally gave his blood (see pic) to try and keep Orange in the game scoring at every opportunity and mastering his skills to reduce the gap.

The arrival of Victor Jr was a turning point as Orange with a new solidity in defence, until then relying on Federico’s heroics, propelling the team into Colours’ half sorting , among others, the effect of galvanising Paride, Colours’ goalkeeper, into a countless number of amazing saves. Some bookmakers were ready to bet that neither the quality nor the number of them will be surpassed in the whole World Cup.
Soon the game was in contention with the gap reducing from five goals to two as Orange had fire in their feet. The only thing they hadn’t was more time as the 11.45 bell saw the score at 9-7 for Colours who looked like a boxer on the rope likely to win on points if the match ended right there. but it didn’t as the Golden Goal was up for grab: it looked like the Orange were like a pack of wolf eager to grab it.
In fact it was Francesco on the opposite side that, with a header reminiscent of Ronaldo’s one against Sampdoria,

almost scored but Alessandro, despite being wrong-footed, produced an incredible reaction save. The faster pace and better momentum of Orange ultimately materialised when Oliviero, who else?, decided no to risk an hemorrhage on his foot
and called it a day to hit the low left angle of Colours’ goal with a surgically aimed shot to leave Orange with the consolation of the golden goal after a glorious ‘remuntada’ was cut short only by time.
The game was also graced by the presence of Rookie Morteza from Afghanistan which is already in the count of our 72 NATIONS. Nevertheless we warmly welcome him: he proved to be and effective winger, good in both the defensive and attacking phase and was instrumental in Colours’ victory.

As for Man of the Match on the Orange side Andrea deserves to be mentioned: the Italian had an excellent game both defensively and, when attacking, he could both assist and score two goals. One of which he did by unleashing a terrific long range shot in the top corner that not even Paride could stop.

Hossam was his usual self: age adds on experience without detracting on speed and tackling ability.

Victor jr was a game changer when he joined the Orange.

Adam and Oliviero were the goal machines that we know and they are on the way to top the scoring record of Harry Kane and Luiz Diaz this season.

On the opposite side Dario mastered the right flank and scored a hat trick: his love story with the ball continues and is reciprocated at every match.

But the Man who Colours had to thank the most for taking home a victory that looked granted for most of the time but elusive toward the end, was their keeper Paride. There was not a single part of his body that was not deployed in the supreme mission of saving Orange victory from the fast and furious Colours’ attacks. Donnarumma is not a bad keeper but with Paride in goal Italy would have entered the World Cup by the main door.

Talking of which I have taken sometime to write about Italy and the World Cup so to have all the facts. The conclusion is natural: Italy has successfully boycotted for the third consecutive time the biggest football tournament on earth exclusively on moral grounds.

The inability of FIFA to bring the competition back to its pristine values of sportsmanship and fairness left the Italians with no choice. The presentation to Trump of the peace Nobel prize is only the most embarrassing but the least damaging of their many mishandlings.

Italy could have simply walked away from it but would have incurred the wreath and the sanctions of FIFA. By making it look like an accident (read defeat by Bosnia) Italy reached the objective to deprive the World Cup of its most prestigious member without having to pay the price of an official boycott. Besides, Italy has always been in favour of a more democratic representation in the World Cup: to give Sweden (2018), North Macedonia (2022) and now Bosnia a chance to be in there, is a heavy, yet necessary sacrifice to stay loyal to its principles.

Before the World Cup tournament even starts we can proudly say Italy is the moral winner as no one has had the guts to boycott the World Cup for three consecutive times.

And it gets even better: Italy has publicly stated that if FIFA won’t act decisively in the next four years against all that is wrong in football, they will consider boycotting also the next tournament for an unprecedented fourth time.

Never in the history of football one Nation has sacrificed so much for the benefit of the other members. Italy with a tally of 7 World Cups, four as winner and three as moral winner, is the undisputed beacon in the dark world of football.

Please join me in applauding Italy and wishing everyone could live up to its standards.

COLOURS-ORANGE 9-8

GOALS

COLOURS: Dario (4), Francesco (2), Bijan (2), Giancarlo

ORANGE: Oliviero (4), Andrea (2), Adam (2)

TEAMS

COLOURS: Paride, Hossam, Victor Sr, Bijan, Morteza, Giancarlo, Dario, Francesco

ORANGE: Alessandro, Federico, Andrea, Victor Jr, Davide, Anton, Adam, Oliviero

While an undisclosed number of football dads were away to audition for the vacant job of the Italian national football manager, and others had somewhat bizarrely decided to enjoy life in other ways (how is this even possible?), an unstoppable group of players gathered on a sunny Easter Saturday morning, if only to keep the ball moving.

In the absence of so many regulars the question had arisen whether there would be a quorum, but this was answered by a mix of veterans and new recruits. Youvraj brought Sebastiano, Gregorio picked up Balthazar in the park, and Amin decided to return, for a dazzling display of his legendary dribbling skills.

The match again showed that there will almost always be enough players for a game whatever polls may say. As the quote says:“Eighty percent of success in life is just showing up”.

Team formations were variable and frequently adapted to ensure balance, with each side firmly built around two anchor players (Youvraj and Seb, Gregorio and Hannes).

The Kensington Palace pitch was smooth and delightful. Every player had a least triple the touches they usually have, as the ball was passed with great fluency through the vacant spaces.

The game was “end-to-end” throughout. At times it felt like excited young bunnies chasing Easter eggs. It is therefore impossible for the chronist to document with any degree of accuracy who scored when. While goal conversion rates had room for improvement, the sheer abundancy of opportunities created by both teams ensured that (almost) everyone scored multiple goals.

Top goal scorer for the bibbed was Youvraj, for the unbibbed it was Gregorio. Overall, a truly delightful morning in Kensington Gardens.

(Hannes Wittig)

Oliviero was once again one of the protagonists in Saturday’s match, scoring a brace to help his Colours team to the victory.

The young Italian showed everyone that time is a very relative concept, as Albert Einstein figured out a century ago. He had arrived late to the pitch (no news here), but as soon as he put his boots on, he was always first to the ball, creating havoc and headaches for the Oranges’ defence.

Next to him, Adam and Johannes formed a terrific attacking trio, each of them scoring a brace and pressing harder than ever.

This doesn’t mean that Colours had an easy life, far from it. The match remained evenly balanced for a long time, even though the Oranges had an extra man. A testament to the unique scheduling abilities of Hannes, back in his role as Lead Matchmaker and Chief Bibs Distributor.

The Oranges attacked relentlessly. Playing as an assist man, Francesco delivered some beautiful balls into the box, one of which was swiftly converted by Ross but his other attempts were met with unapologetic resistance from Hannes, Federico and Alessandro.

Federico appeared somewhat impaired by late partying (“too much beer last night” he confessed after the match), but was still able to block any attempt coming his way.

At the other end, Johannes scored a wonderful goal with a perfectly executed volley from an elegant cross by Adam. Such was its beauty that even Paride was seen clapping in admiration.

In the following minutes, perhaps struck by Stendhal syndrome, the Italian goalkeeper appeared confused on a couple of occasions, gifting two goals to the Colours. A decisive blow to the Orange’s hope.

The match continued with ferocious intensity. Now two goals down, the Oranges tried hard to exploit their extra man, with Bijan in the control room and AndreaM pushing forward, but their efforts lacked precision in the final touch.

With the score at 8–6 for the Colours, the Golden Goal could have given the Oranges a deserved consolation prize—but it was not to be. Fresh as a daisy, Oliviero (MOTM) had the energy and composure to dribble past a few opponents and send the ball into the top right corner of Paride’s goal with a brilliant long-range strike that followed a trajectory never seen before.

Not only time, even space is a relative concept when football is played at this level!

COLOURS
Alessandro, Cameron, Hannes, Federico, Oliviero (3), Adam (3), Johannes (3)

ORANGES
Paride, Andrea, Bijan (3), Hossam, Alastair, Jonathan, Francesco, Ross (3)

After 90 minutes of play, with the Colours up 6-1, the fate of the match appeared all but sealed.

The Colours had effortlessly dominated the match, playing some of the best football seen in recent times at Hyde Park.

Driving the team was a formidable Gregorio, in full control of defence and midfield. He arrived on each ball before every opponent with timeliness, touching it with grace and strength. He is often compared to Arsenal’s Calafiori, but on the pitch he looked more like a young Maldini infused with Gattuso’s energy and Pirlo’s precision.

On their attacking side, Oliviero was in stellar form, cutting through the Orange defence like a Japanese knife on a piece of butter, despite Federico’s heroic efforts to keep him, Bijan and Julien far from the goal. But truly everyone in the Colours team, from Paride to Julien, deserves accolades for playing in a highly focused and unselfish way, supporting and high-fiving each other even when a play went wrong.

On the other side was an Orange team unable to express their full potential. Players like Dario, Oscar, Andrea and Ross have incredible talent, but somehow they were not delivering, lacking precision in the critical moments. Few of their team members made things worse by pointing fingers and complaining to teammates making mistakes rather than encouraging them, hardly a recipe for success.

Only towards the end, a player swap was agreed, with Adam joining the Oranges and Davide moving to the Colours. A spirited Adam gave the Oranges a much needed boost in attack, but it was too late to turn the game around. while Davide, who had been criticised in the Colours team for failing a simple throw, managed to show his potential as soon as he swapped side.

The Golden Goal offered redemption opportunity but it was not going to be this time. Oliviero scored it with a spectacular volley shot from long distance, reminiscent of Van Basten’s historic goal in the 1988 Euro final. A feat that sealed the score at 7-1, putting an exclamation point to the story of Colours’s domination, and allowing him to bring home the MOTM award.

With such disparity evident, and not for the first time, questions were asked about the efficacy of the algorithm used by Hossam to select teams. An instant investigation revealed a shocking truth: the logic adopted by the egyptian is not based on quantum physics or agentic AI or anything like that. In fact it uses only one, rather unsophisticated parameter: how distant a player is from him.

“What I do is hand bibs to the first eight guys I see, and then adjust from there” admitted Hossam with a smile, something referred in academia as the “proximity algorithm”, albeit adding that he should have corrected things mid way when the disparity was evident.

In a later meeting of the FD Board, it was decided that for the next match a new team selection method should we tried. Among the tools being evaluated are Bayesian optimisation, neural networks projections and predictive modelling based on eXpected Goals and hairstyles.

Or perhaps an easier way would be to just give the task back to Hannes, who in the past has proven the ability to easily create perfectly balanced team on the spot with uncanny teutonic precision.