It was a quite a match in Hyde Park on Saturday as we welcomed back our legendary goalkeeper Tony.

The match in regular time was a draw (3-3), and with the golden goal the win went to the Colours. Both teams played fairly well even without their celebrated player Giancarlo.

The goals for Oranges were by Oliviero, Jonathan and Murteza. Davide made an incredible assist for Oliviero’s volley. Al made 2 top assists. For the Colours, Al, Nizar and Daoud scored along with Ram’s own goal.

The Colours team left a lot of space on the field for the Oranges, allowing them to play such good football with pass by pass and tap in the box. There happened to be a situation where there was a throw in that went down as a goal but according to the referee (which was also us) the goal had to be disallowed.

Along with this match we had a group of people walking past and cheering on how impressive the teams were playing, especially with all these opportunities that the Colours had to score at least two more goals.

Accompanied by his master Giancarlo, Leone was desperate to play. He clearly loves coming to Hyde Park to watch Football Dads, even if he will probably never be a Football Dad one day.

There were situations where there were so many people in the box for the Oranges that, creating chaos and colliding with each other as it often happens when Arsenal plays.

Davide missed several opportunities that could have changed the sort of the game, but the Colours’ defence, led by Hossam, was simply impenetrable. Among the rotating goalkeepers, both Arman and Davide made top saves.

Morteza didn’t make his third Golden Goal in a row. This time it was Hossam to score it with an incredible finish, capping with it an extraordinary performance well worth of the MOTM award.

For the Colours team, the match didn’t start in the best way.

First, they conceded a goal when they couldn’t stop Davide from sending the ball in the upper corner with an imperious shot with his left foot.

Minutes later, they did worse, gifting their opponents a second one. Gregorio’s back pass was completely ignored by his goalkeeper (Anton), who only noticed the ball when it was in the net. Oops.

To their credit, the Colours lacked a professional goalkeeper (the only one available, Alessandro, had been recruited by the Oranges), and played against a strong wind, but they also had the advantaged of having an extra man, not to mention the many talents at their disposal.

Nevertheless, the Colours didn’t see the two goals conceded as a problem, but rather as ‘something that happened’, and went to back to work with greater focus.

Results came soon, as the Colours scored four in successions, reverting the sort of the match, with Sina, Bijan and Gregorio all getting their name on the scoreboard.

Incidentally, three of these Colours goals came in the short spell when Francesco left his place upfront to go in goal, leaving his teammate to attack. You can draw your own conclusions here.

Among the Colours was Matej, back after a long hiatus. The last time on the pitch he committed so many handballs that he considered whether to play with his hands tied behind his back. He didn’t go that far, but his hands were a little more disciplined this time, and he played a solid no-nonsense defensive game.

The Oranges fought hard to get back in the game. Among them, rookie Peter had a sensational performance, controlling midfield and driving his team as a consummate playmaker. But the rock-solid Hannes’ defense managed to keep danger under control.

The Oranges eventually reduced the gap when Jonathan scored (4-3), but could not stop Bijan (MOTM) from restoring a larger advantage, and ultimate seal the win with the Golden Goal at 6-3.

Colours-Bibs 6-3

Bibs: Alessandro, Hossam, Riccardo, Johannes, JonathanR, Christian, Davide, Nadir, Peter, Edoardo, ….

Colours: Hannes, Matei, Andrea, Bijan, Gregorio, Morteza, Francesco, Omer, Anton, Sina, Ram (poi passato a loro) …

Cherry on the cake there was also a Rookie, Antonio, a friend of Branko, who together with Dario made the Croatian contingent the second biggest after the noisy Italians.

Antonio from Croatia joined Branko, Dario and Diego strengthening the Croatian contingent at FDs.

They made their country proud, something which was not followed up by their compatriots later in the afternoon. But there was a silver lining: soon after the disastrous performance of the Croatian national team v England, Branko received a call from the head of the Croatian Federation (HNS) begging him to accept the role of player-manager to restore the previously impressive reputation of the squad captained by Luka Modric.

Branko wasted no time and even before knowing terms and conditions, declared himself available but put a ‘sine qua non’ condition: if the Federation can grant 11 Croatian passports to FDs (even randomly) then he could guarantee the fastest and most successful turnaround in football history: that is a natural progression to 2030 World Cup title after third place in 1998 and second in 2018. We don’t have at the time of writing any more details but please check you spam emails in case there is one from the Croatian consulate in London… Stay tuned

Soon after the FDs game, cricket players desecrated the holy grail of football: Chetan, can you please have a word?!

Having seen the consistency of Ram’s performance, bookmakers’ money tilted more on the Colours’s side until Bijian opened the score reminding them that Orange chances should not have been underestimated. The very Ram though made sure that Colours were always in the game, yet again scoring a brace only for Jonathan D replicating with the same currency on the other front fixing the score at 4-2 for the Orange. JD since scoring recently a hat trick and winning the Man of the Match award seems a different player with an impressive conversion ratio. And his market value is reflecting that: not many clubs will now be able to afford him but that is a bit of an academic debate as he has stated many times that he will stick to where he belongs.

4-2 turned out to be an inflection point for Colours: Johannes both scored and fed strikers with known regularity and accuracy while Francesco shrugged off an unusual abstinence by converting with surgical precision a penalty conceded by Kaan for punching the ball in his box forgetting he was not the keeper. This is collateral damage for having to use in both goals rush keepers while the official ones are still missing in action.

Morteza and Andrea M added to the Colours’ furious turnaround with two wonderful goals bringing the score to 6-4 in their favour. At that point there was little time for a reverse Remuntada: key players like Oliviero were unusually firing blank. Giancarlo failed to score for third consecutive game and Jonathan R came very close with two lobs and a touch just over the bar: a piece of magic that deserved better. Furthermore Orange efforts were frustrated by bad luck like when Davide hit the bottom post from an impossibly angled position.

At the 11.45 mark only the golden goal was left to rescue Orange.
By the way, as a side thought, can you think of a better way than the golden goal to settle disputes? Just imagine if wars were ended by a golden goal. If and when Football Dads will be asked to save the world that will be a possibility.

Would Colours capitalise on the momentum and end in style a glorious game or will Orange grab their last chance with both hands to save the day?

It fell on Morteza again to hit the golden goal net ending the score at 7-4 for the Colours who hit the net for the fifth consecutive time without Orange being able to interfere. Scoring, like Morteza did, three consecutive Golden Goals is no mean feature and voters for the Man of the Match award were verymuch in tune with that. Cherry on the cake Morteza also scored a wonderful goal with a killer shot in the top corner leading his squad to victory. A well deserved recognition shared with the team which today worked as a Swill clock with added Brazilian, Croatian and German flair.

COLOURS-ORANGE 7-4

GOALS
COLOURS: Ram (2), Morteza (2), Francesco, Johannes, Andrea M

ORANGE: Bijan (2), Jonathan D (2)

TEAMS
COLOURS: Hossam, Andrea M, Branko, Thomas, Nadir, Ram, Julien, Dario, Victor, Johannes, Morteza, Francesco

ORANGE: Massimo, Bijan, Antonio, Kaan, Eren, Omer, Davide, Oliviero, Jonathan D, Giancarlo, Jonathan R.

The new mandatory, weekly session on tactics-only, has paid off handsomely. To the point that Cesc Fabregas, one of the finest tacticians who led Italian team Como from Serie B to Champions League football, was caught attending such sessions disguised as Chetan, whom he shares a striking similarity with. Not even the face recognition system could tell them apart with the Spaniard taking advantage of the fact that Chetan was playing cricket on the day, as he does every day…It was a risky move though as now the ex Arsenal and Chelsea star stand accused of possessing superior knowledge acquired in a fraudulent way. Stay tuned.

Cesc and Chetan: separated at birth.

Cesc Fabregas stopped at nothing to be able to steal FDs tactics. Before he stole lookalike Chetan identity though he would have fallen short in a football skills test,
had Chetan be there and not on a cricket ground.

On today’s match there were few notable comebacks: after spending the summer training with David Raya (the money the Arsenal keeper paid is not disclosed), Tony was back defending his goal with his usual authoritative style. In fact today it was not so much about the saves but the sense of safety he instilled in every teammate. One of them said that he felt like locking the door of his own house in the knowledge that it will find it exactly like he left it: unviolated.

With Tony L, of course there was the Neymar in the making, that is the not- so little Arman who has been growing in stature and confidence, requiring man marking and at times double up. We hope he can grace FDs games more often.

Edoardo was also back after few months absence and with Marco the Italian pair took control of the left alley: their physical presence was enough to persuade opponents to choose a less direct route for their trades.

All the others were more recurring familiar faces: yet again the J boys (Drexel, Lee, Rao) were in full display and this time in the same team. With the impactful addition of Joshua. A substantial premium was paid for their services: as it turned out it was money very well spent.

The JONATHANS: from left Lee (JL), Drexel (JD), Rao (JR). They produced a memorable collective performance for Colours with JD grabbing MOTM award!

With Alessandro in goal, Massimo and Bijan in defence, protected by Gregorio in front of them Orange felt like moving on the offensive right from the start. Who wouldn’t?

It fell to Kaan to open the score for the Orange with a shot which evaded Tony’s reach also due to a slight deflection.

Colours were far from dispirited though : leveraging from the tactics’ lessons they advanced the position of both JD on the right side from full back to winger and Joshua from a central defender to attacking midfield: they were both handed licence to score.

And score they did: big time. Before Orange knew Joshua landed a sucker punch that drew the game: before they had time to react another was in store to put Colours in the front seat: 2-1. Hardly any tactical move has been so productive in such a short space.

Nobody was prepared for what happened: even less so for what was going to happen.

If you knew that a hat trick was going to be scored next, most likely your money would have been on the usual suspect, certainly not on the unsung hero who did it, almost effortlessly.

Jonathan Drexel (JD) made the most from his advanced right-wing position converting 100% of the three goal opportunities he had with clinical precision and coolness. Wunderbar! The performance brought a straightforward upgrade of his status: from unsung hero to proper Hero.

We suspect that JD will permanently fill the new role going forward: the genius tactical move was double edged as the back space left void by his more forward position was covered admirably by Andrea M. He looked throughout the game every bit like Beckenbauer: head hight, ball glued to the feet, early anticipation and faultless distribution. All this facilitated by the collective performance of his surrounding partners Hannes, Julien and Johannes who made sure traffic was directed according to their instructions.

The goals gap was mildly reduced by Morteza scoring in back to back games only for Giancarlo on the opposite front to fix the score at 6-2 for Colours: Marco chested down a flying ball to serve JL. The latter often scored from such position, outside the box with back to the goal. Selfishly he put it on a plate for the incoming Giancarlo who hit the ball at full force. Alessandro did a half miracle to deflect the shot but not the full one to prevent it to end in the far corner.
At this point the golden goal represented for Orange both a dream and a nightmare depending on its outcome.

Each of them knew full well that it was the very last chance to regain dignity in front of the fans, increasingly faced with the reality of a grim weekend. The heavy defeat would stay for longer but the golden goal would allow them to still feel part of the community without been ashamed of it.

Orange hopes were raised by the early exit of Julien who had to endure an injury. As been the fulcrum of Colours’ midfield and the type of soldier who goes ‘à la guerre comme à la guerre’ the French was often targeted by the enemy. He nevertheless made sure to leave the pitch when victory was not in doubt.

Orange had still quality in spade: all they had to do was to dig deep into their residual energy to create chances for their forward: it was again Morteza who raised to the the challenge to score the golden goal in back to back games to give the 6-3 final score a more respectful dimension. He is a player who has regained confidence and is back being lethal in front of goal. Was it perhaps due to the scarf he was wearing? We might never know!

The almost unpredictable Man of the Match before the match became the most predicted soon after the match, just before the votes were casted electronically.

JD grabbed the trophy with both hands impressing voters for his tactical versatility and his clinical, ruthless finishing. Are we witnessing a Gareth Bale in the making? Probably not because Real Madrid does not stand a chance to snatch it away from FDs…

Finally, the writer wants to provide a first-hand example of how FDs differ from the pack. Recently it made global noise that professional Japanese footballer Kazuyoshi Miura, who also played in Italy, scored an official goal (on a penalty) at 59 years of age. Well, the likes of Hannes, Francesco, Giancarlo etc at the age of 60+ score every week without penalties.

Why does nobody make any noise about it, apart from the commentator?

Quite simply, it all boils down to the perception: ordinary players doing extraordinary things gets noticed. FDs doing extraordinary things is just par for the course...

It’s a funny world this one we’re living in!

COLOURS-ORANGE 6-3

GOALS
COLOURS: Jonathan D (3), Joshua (2), Giancarlo

ORANGE: Kaan, Morteza (2)

TEAMS
COLOURS: Tony L, Andrea M, Edoardo, Hannes, Jonathan D (JD), Julien, Jonathan R (JR), Johannes, Joshua, Jonathan L (JL), Giancarlo, Marco

ORANGE: Alessandro, Massimo, Bijian, Gregorio, Al, Kaan, Davide, Dario, Eren, Francesco, Morteza, Arman

27 players came to salute summer in the last game of the hot season. The weather was ideal, not too hot, not too cold. The pitch still far from the ideal venue for such a distinguished sample of footballers. Yet, when you step into a ‘do or die’ fight there are more pressing issues than the state of the battleground. And that was clear by simply watching at the intensity of the looks exchanged among contenders.

When it comes to teams selection the CLUB has decided to ditch AI: the fundamental problem is that the latter compiles and interprets public data taken from ordinary players while FDs are about private data and extraordinary players. Hardly the solution required. Herr Meister Hannes was confirmed for the delicate job and yet again he delivered two balanced teams for a game much tighter than the final score suggested.

Wisely, he put a rock solid defence where the role keeper was missing: Hannes, Hossam and Bijan would comfortably feature as a block defence in the ideal XI formation of all time. To score against them today you would need consummate strikers equipped with skills and luck. A fair amount of scepticism was evident when Colours announce that they would field Giancarlo as a sole, static striker, occasionally supported by Morteza and Aurian on the flanks.

Orange midfield was packed with 6 players mixing experience and exuberance. Upfront a trio who needed no introduction with Nizar, Francesco and Oliviero. In the past these guys showed ability to score cumulatively in double digit territory. Few bookmakers put money on Orange to win before the opposition team was even announced. Should they have known better?

FDs fans from abroad is a growing trend: here Oliviero welcomes a special one from Italy

Colours responded with a very young back line but had their goal guarded by Alessandro: his agent is gloating seeing the ‘black spider’ market value going up week after week. The combination of his magic saves and the role scarcity value is making him priceless. Both midfield and attack were reliant on fresh blood with the notable exception of Giancarlo. Gregorio as a playmaker was the best guarantee that the most would have been extracted by the compartments.

At times football loves to mock those that make early, easy predictions: it was in fact Giancarlo to open the score for the Colours with a right footed angled volley on a cross which flew over enemies’ box. On the opposite front the trident was firing blank, not least because Alessandro was sending back everything thrown at him, including a low, silent, missile fire by Oliviero which the ‘back spider’ saved on his close post with his leg when Orange were already celebrating.

Rahnadan was the heart and soul of Orange , fighting on every ball and still managing to be at the right place at the right moment when his presence was requested to score. It started with a header followed by two more goal to complete a majestic performance with a hat trick which represented 100% of the harvest of his team. But that was not enough as Colours put up a performance of a lifetime: Aurian assisted twice and scored one, Giancarlo converted another volley with his left foot while JR hit the net with the goal of the match, a ballistic masterpiece from distance, terminating its run just under the bar, barely seen by the keeper.

The game stood at a goal difference for a long time with Colours defending stoically, anxiously asking how many more minutes to go before the 11.45 mark. The whistle came as a liberation for the Colours while it signalled a wake up call and a revenge act for the Orange as the golden goal could have turned them from villains to hero in front of their own fans who just didn’t know whether they were to face a miserable or ecstatic weekend with the inevitable fall out on family and friends.

Unfortunately for them Colours were not in a charitable mood and they wanted more, now addicted to the taste of victory. Smayan, at the bottom of the right flank, hooked a ball and first defended it and then with a double dribble got rid of his markers and placed it on a plate in the middle of the small Orange box for Morteza to convert it to seal the day for Colours with a triumph the vast majority didn’t not see coming before the game started and remained sceptical throughout it.

It was a black Saturday for bookmakers who stopped at the obvious without doing extra due diligence and lost a fortune.

The Man of the Match was a face off between Giancarlo and Rahnadan. While we have often argued that the winner must come from the winning team, when you actually score a hat trick (both header and feet) without having actually spent much time in attack but rather running up and down the pitch for the benefit of the team, well that points toward the definition of a complete footballer able to prove himself in any part of the pitch. We are sure many other awards will follow but in the meanwhile, Rahn, enjoy this well deserved one!

Giancarlo was nonetheless gratified by many messages posted on the web by fellow players, including past legends. Didier Drogba quipped: ‘I share with Giancarlo many similarities. While in my prime I was a little bit faster than today’s Giancarlo, his skills on the ball remain unmatched. At time I struggled to convert volleys from tight angles, something Giancarlo does naturally and consistently as shown today. Not to talk about his curling-in corners: it was a shame that his one today, who looked beyond the line when JD headed it out, was ruled out without VAR check. This is the ultimate evidence that technology is not used for the good of the game! And I stop here’.

COLOURS-ORANGE

GOALS

COLOURS: Giancarlo (2), Aurian, Jonathan R, Morteza (gg=golden goal)

ORANGE: Rahnadan (3)

TEAMS

COLOURS: Alessandro, Nadir, Kaan, Karim, Daniel, Dario, Gregorio, Jonathan R (JR), Davide, Smayan, Giancarlo, Aurian, Morteza

ORANGE: Hannes, Hossam, Bijan, Al, Jonathan D (JD), Andrea M. Julien, Sina, Rahnadan, Eran (Battu), Oliviero, Nizar, Francesco

The pre-match atmosphere was very amicable with players looking like old friends who hadn’t seen each other for a while. This was helped by the notable comeback of few legends, both senior and junior.

Massimo was back steadying the Orange defence after a summer spent conquering Dolomites peaks with his bike. Andrea R flying high in Budapest engaged in an epic battle with Hossam to conquer the critical left flank where most of the traffic was going through. After some impressive, yet unlucky shooting from the distance, he dribbled a couple of Colours and put a ball on a plate for Ran whose header just shaved the bar. What a goal this would have been.

Green is slowly but steadily making his way back at last

But what sent the crowd wild was the appearing during warm up from the distance of Gregorio. The female fans immediately spotted the new hairstyle and earrings and you could tell they liked it as there was no shortage of ‘Marry me’ signs. Perhaps the change in look is to prevent Calafiori from pretending he is Gregorio and gain undeserved publicity and female attention. Our Italian talisman refused to comment and as usual did the talking on the pitch easily and naturally living up to the hype.

Gregorio was given a warm ‘welcome back’ both on the pitch and on the stands.

Alessandro was the first pick both for being consistently a good pair of hands and the only goalkeeper on duty. Both Tony L and Paride had missed the season (meaning last three months): this will trigger a contract revision: we wish them good luck.

Both defences looked supremely well equipped to deal with any kind of adversity fielding on one side Hannes, Hossam, Federico and on the other Massimo, Chetan and Bijian. Not surprisingly an unusual number on bets were on a low scoring result despite Orange having only rush keepers. Both walls looked wide, thick and tall.

In fact it was not easy for either team to break the ice but impossible is nothing for Gregorio who scored a brace followed by Francesco usual opportunistic goal while on the other side Jonathan D managed one to set the score at 3-1. In fairness Colours created a lot more than Orange but lacked their counterparts clinical finishing. Aurian was often at the centre of fast and well constructed moves thanks to both his agility and technique.

Then two things happened: soon after Alessandro did an incredible save, just when Gregorio thought he bagged a hat trick with a header from a corner within the box, Giancarlo saved it on the line. The Board gave the latter the concession, to be renewed every year, to guard the close post on every corner. After such performance it is very likely it will be renewed for 2027-28 as well.

The second things was a genius tactical move: Federico advanced from defence to become an attacking midfielder. Such move was not a given as Federico performed admirably as a defender in this and previous matches.

Immediately it had the result to better balance a midfield where Davide, on the opposite side, was keeping everyone busy with his constant moving (and talking…). The least you can say is that he brought liveliness to the game: a much welcome addition.

It didn’t take long for Federico to make a mark on the game in his new role, soon after he suffered the ignominy of a nutmeg from Ran who is now averaging two a game. With his Italian goal the gap was now one down to one goal only at 2-3 for Orange but the momentum was there for the Colours to turn the game, rather than limiting damages. It must be noted that Federico had the advantage to be supported by a dedicated set of fans and in the post match interview he had the courtesy to thanks the CLUB for making tickets available to friends & family.

Colours smelt blood and attacked in force: on a corner Hannes gored the ball into the net with an imperious header Mats Hummels would have been proud of. At 3-3 only the golden goals could separate two teams who looked superior in different phases of the match. Such is the strength of character and the will to never give up that is increasingly difficult to see one-direction matches and that’s one of the reasons fans flock in Saturday in, Saturday out.

Colours showed they possessed, other than a new tactical discipline, a freshness that translated in fast moves followed by quick passes: on one of which Jonathan L hooked the ball and planted it in the net with a poisonous diagonal shot to seal a majestic turnaround by the indomitable Colours’ team. Fans were reduced to tears of joy which thankfully the warm sun helped to dry.

Before the Man of the Match award there was another significant recognition as a J shaped trophy was handed both to Jonathan L, Jonathan D and Jonathan R for representing the most numerous ‘single same first name’ group, whose importance and originality should not be underestimated.

As for the MOTM at one point it looked like no one could take it away from Gregorio who had a superb game, yet again being the heart and soul of his team, alternating encouragement and reprimand as required. But what makes the beautiful game so beautiful is its unpredictability: the 4-1 vanished on the goal line and Federico, Hannes and Jonathan L turned the tide bringing home a nail biting victory.
The CLUB data team pointed out that 84.7% of the MOTM recipients come from the winning team and voters this time too decided to go with the champions. As they say, defeat is an orphan while victory bring many votes…

Hannes was deservedly identified as the key figure who made it happen both by scoring a key goal on one part of the pitch and flooring opponents on the other. Part of the credit goes to Hossam who, whenever Hannes was raiding Orange box, made sure that the door behind was safely locked.

Award winners: Hannes MOTM and Alessandro best keeper (and not because he was the only ‘role’ one)

GOALS

COLOURS: Jonathan D, Federico, Hannes, Jonathan L

ORANGE: Gregorio (2), Francesco

TEAMS

COLOURS: Alessandro, Hossam, Anton K, Hannes, Federico, Andrea M, Smayan, Jonathan D, Giancarlo, Morteza, Aurian, Jonathan L

ORANGE: Massimo, Chetan, Gregorio, Davide, Bijian, Jonathan R, Ran, Andrea R, Francesco, Adam

Fans on the stands are used to total commitment and they have no reason to doubt it for the incoming season. The first fierce exchanges of hostilities proved the theory right.

The Palace pitch was as dry as a desert but few patches of green emerged on the sides giving hope that soon that will be the prevailing colour.

The match had all the ingredients to be both thrilling and entertaining: there was the Rookie in the person of Rahnadan from Nigeria, the comeback of Tony the Terminator and the super young Raphael, Julien’s son.

Terminator Tony was back in action and in shape after a long absence.

Only one keeper showed up, Alessandro, and the Orange were fast to secure a loan to pay for his services in the knowledge that opposition would have had to rely on rotating keepers who, not only provide lower quality in goal but disrupt tactics. At a first glance Colours looked unbalanced with a crowded frontline and hardly any role defender. As Orange learned pretty soon appearances can be deceptive.

Conversely, Orange ironically were light in defence with only Hossam and Giancarlo facing the force of strikers of the calibre of Nizar, Oliviero, Tony and Francesco with Davide playing just behind them and going for every ball.

The choice of placing Bijan in attack for the Orange didn’t look obvious but his versatility justified it and in fact he was the first to score. The price to pay though was evident later as Orange defence was overwhelmed despite the hard work in midfield by Daniel and Julien to protect it.

The attack prone Colours took a big risk and exposed themselves in defence but luckily for them Orange missed many chances and such profligacy was a recurring feature throughout the match.

They always looked close to fill the gap that Colours had created, mostly by virtue of a hat trick by Johannes who was playing as a defensive midfielder but made the most out of his accurate shooting, well outside the box with that left foot of his.

Daoud scored a brace but on the other front Nizar, Francesco and Anton (capping an excellent game) made sure with their goals that an Orange Remuntada was nowhere to be seen on the day. Oddly, Oliviero was not on the scoring list but had a key role as a playmaker keeping Orange defence on constant red alert, also putting to good work his otherwise idle left foot.

Cherry on the Colours’ cake Tony marked his comeback with one of his trademark ‘what happened?’ goal: Johannes, who else?, unleashed one of his deadly long distance shot which this time look just wide. Tony bravely chested the fast ball into the net. To the neutral observer it looked like a totally casual goal with Tony knowing nothing about it. But those who know what the Italian is capable of, are ready to give him the benefit of the doubt. It was perhaps a stroke of luck which anyway Colours didn’t need, such was their superiority.

Besides, the Orange team was dispirited with much finger pointing going on to the point that team effort was compromised with little, if any, communication between players, not to talk about self confidence and will to sacrify for the team.

FDs is about winning as much as it is about enjoying each others’ company: finger pointing does not help either. Hopefully we have seen enough.

Not even a crucial event like the silver goal, the last chance to redeem a bad bay, lifted the Orange now just willing to pack and go home. It took only few minutes for the Colours to seal the day with Francesco scoring his second with a deft touch within the box. He is a player who knows how to use energies: he reduces the mileage to the bare during the game to then be fit and ready to seize any opportunity arising in front of goal and today was no exception.

Al used to wear an Inter Milan shirt but has now found his true colours: rossoneri AC Milan. You can comfortably say Al is a man who learns from his mistakes…

The Man of the Match award, on such a one direction game, was heavily expected to be handed to a Colours’ players with the two obvious candidates being Johannes and Rahnadan (you can call him Ran if you are in a hurry). Johannes was the engine of the team and his early hat trick, not to mention the ‘assist’ to Tony, sealed the game early on. Remarkably the stats showed that he spent most of the time in his half resorting to clinical shots when deciding to score.
Rahnadan was the nice surprise of the game coupling athleticism with fine technique with that nutmeg Giancarlo would have been proud of. Besides, he stoically survived two career-threatening injuries, first a fortuitous front crash with Daoud and then a cannon ball in his privates. The selection committee therefore is happy for him to skip the six months Navy-Seals probation period: Ram is the Man! The only negative being that Nigeria is already in our 73 Nation count…

Rahnadan impressed everyone as a Rookie: his debut was a mix of resiliency and technique at the highest level.

As we all know football is unpredictable and so at time the MOTM nomination: the most surprising player today was the youngest one: Raphael. He took a very modern role on the wing and such was his mobility that you couldn’t tell whether he was a full back or a winger: probably both. Raphael decided not to be a peripheral figure, something brave at his age, and demanded involvement initiating one-twos, preferably with his trusted Dad but not only.

In the post match interview he cheekily said that for the time being he will park his MOTM trophy in his Dad cabinet but wouldn’t mind receiving his own at his next birthday.

COLOURS-ORANGE 8-3

GOALS

COLOURS: Johannes (3), Francesco (2), Nizar, Anton, Tony

ORANGE: Bijan, Daoud (2)

TEAMS

COLOURS: Ramadan, Anton, Johannes, Oliviero, Jonathan R, Davide, Nizar, Tony S, Francesco.

ORANGE: Alessandro, Hossam, Giancarlo, Bijan, Julien,

Raphael, Daniel, Morteza, Daoud.

Finally, the rain is back in London!

It will take time (and a lot more rain) before the Kensington Park grass returns to its natural green colour, but the drizzle (and occasional downpour) was enough to soften the ground, allowing players to enjoy a much smoother play.

While both teams benefited from the weather conditions, the Colours seemed more at ease on the pitch, and proved to be much more effective than their opponents

Leading their team from the back was Johannes, who played a match of rare intensity and inspiration, and showed great captaincy when dealing with some of his most irritating teammates.

Next to him was rookie Pietro, author of an impressive performance. Playing effortlessly, he controlled and distributed a huge number of balls, providing balance to the team and finding always the right pass with the precision of a space engineer.

It turns out that Pietro is in fact a space engineer, currently developing a new system to track satellites in space within millimetres. He used the opportunity of our match not just to have fun but also to test his system on our footballs, which of course are more difficult to track than Elon Musk’s space oddities.

Pietro was brought to the pitch by Kaan, who is quietly establishing himself as one of the most effective Club’s scouts, building up his reputation while collecting hefty fees for his recruits.

The Colours’ attacking line was a bit less organised that the back, with Adam, Morteza, Jonathan, Davide and Francesco exchanging places without an apparent logic, but proved effective. Within 30 minutes, they were ahead 4-0.

The Bibs team was unsure as to what was wrong with them. After a quick data analysis, Federico concluded that they were just not creating enough chances, in fact recording a negative number of eXpected Goals (xG).

I know what you are thinking. It is mathematically and conceptually impossible for a team’s total Expected Goals (xG) to be a negative number. So perhaps Federico’s calculation was not entirely correct, but still it served its purpose.

Inspired by the mathematical absurdity, the Bibs increased the pace of their attack, subbing late-joiner Amin for Davide, who moved to the Colours.

With the Bibs now in the zone, the ever reliable Bijan rose to the occasion and scored three times in succession, bringing its team to the verge of an extraordinary remuntada. But the destiny of the match was not going to change.

With the rain now falling incessantly, the Bibs found again their balance. They secured the lead first with a fourth goal, and later with the golden goal, scored by Adam with his first-ever header.

The Man of the Match Award was a tight context between Johannes and Pietro, but was ultimately awarded to the latter, a rare achievement for a rookie.

The young italian could barely contained his excitement and was still star-struck by having played with such legends. Before going home, he couldn’t resist begging senator Hossam to stop for a selfie under his gigantic, iconic green umbrella (see top picture). Our President duly obliged.

COLOURS-BIBS 5-3

TEAMS

BIBS: Andrea, Jonathan R, Hossam, Kaan, Federico, Anton, Bijan, Kaan’s friend, Amin (late arrival), Davide (1st half),

COLOURS: Morteza, Johannes, Pietro, Rob, Karim, Francesco, Jonathan and his son, Adam, Davide (2nd half)

.

A few new faces contributed to a highly entertaining outing on a scorched lawn in front of Kensington Palace.

Kaan brought his friends Eren and Bafu. Together they formed a strong axis in the Colours team, a side blessed by being much younger on average, and by having a man more.

However, they faced a very experienced team that also boasted some strong runners. In the defence, stalwarts Chetan and Hannes were supported by Salvatore, a player from the old Italian school. He kept calm amidst the Colours’ attacks, guarding the left central defense, while distributing balls elegantly to his teammates, sometimes mixing in a back-heel for good measure (and occasional unintended excitement for his fellow defenders).

As the players readied for the game, the team of Real Sociedad was spotted walking the park ahead of their match against Chelsea FC. When invited to join the FDs for a pre-match warm-up they briefly considered it, but then concluded it would exhaust them too much ahead of their afternoon match with the Blues. They instead turned into spectators, eagerly following every move of the FDs and frantically taking notes.

Orchestrated by Johannes, the Bibs went up 3-0 and seemed to be firmly in control. However, this score motivated an impressive comeback by the Colours, that managed to get even at 3-3.

With little time left, the Golden Goal was called as a decider. The Colours went all-in to complete what would have been an impressive remuntada, but it was the Bibs that found the net first, sealing their victory.

As for the Real Sociedad, they lost 3-1 to Chelsea, but went back to San Sebastian with huge excitement and a notebook full of ideas.

Barcelona and Real Madrid should be scared.

Text by Hannes

TEAMS

Bibbed: Chetan, Jonathan (Italy), Jonathan (Germany), Anton, Salvatore, Johannes, Hannes

Colors: Kaan, Eren, Bafu, Federico, Al, Morteza, Andrea (Italy), Andrea Milano

With two well balanced teams, at 4 v 4 tactics and moves made all the difference. A spur picked up by your mate carrying the ball almost guarantees you a goal scoring opportunity, hardly the case in a 11 v 11 game. Paramount attention was therefore given before the match to the right system to be deployed: while the 2-1-1 was the default choice, a simple move to a 1-2-1 would turn a team from defensive to offensive while a 1-1-2 would equate to an instant war declaration aimed at winning fast.

The mix was intriguing: 6 youngster and 2 veterans. Both teams borrowed heavily in the market with little regards to the rising interest rates to make sure that at least one of the experienced pals, either Chetan or Giancarlo, would end up in its own ranks: so eager were younger players to learn the trade from two of the very few rain makers left in the industry.

If any, Chetan was trading at a premium boasting its new pair of Adidas shoes which he impeccably baptised with a rare hat trick. Shoes don’t make players but might ease the task and certainly the cricketer turned player (and viceversa) made the most of it.

Chetan’s new shoes could not hope for a better start to their career scoring a hat trick

Chetan also brought a new Rookie, Varun who contributed materially to the narrow victory of his team. His precise role is yet to be defined as there are no role in a 4 v 4 match but Varun showed versatility in every department and ended up also scoring a hat trick: not bad a start for a Rookie.

There was not role keeper: Giancarlo for Colours and Federico for Oranges though were often the last man protecting their goal from enemies’ incursions. In one instance Federico found himself at the edge of the Colours’ box, lifted the ball overhead and with an amazing bicycle kick sent a looping ball just under the bar but Giancarlo, with a reaction save, put the middle finger to it (any metaphysical meaning not intended) and touched it over the bar.

Teams were remarkably well balanced, a more recurring feature with a low number of players, but somehow Colours always managed to get in front but Orange stubbornly refused to let them widen the gap beyond reach. It was a festival of goals where Robbie and Yuv on the opposite fronts feasted on their speed and large spaces available to them but the necessarily lose defences.
At the 11.45 mark no goal separated the two teams who ended regular time at 11-11.
The golden goal was critical not only to win the game but also to elect the Man of the Match which until then was an affair between Robbie and Yuv.
It was the Colours’ striker who yet again sealed the match with the decisive golden goal while there not not enough balls to reward all the ‘hat trick’ scorers.

On a different and more sad note, the world of football is mourning the departure of Franco Baresi, the iconic captain of Milan and Italian national team.

Franco was possibly the most dependable player in the Sacchi’s all winning Rossoneri Team who revolutionised the game with an all attacking style based on an aggressive high defensive line resorting to the offside’s trap and fast and furious counters as well as constant offensive pressure. An highly risky strategy that would become very effective if executed with the precision of a sniper and the athleticism of a 100mt runner. An art Franco turned into a science with a precision and timing not seen before.

Franco was the conductor of such orchestra timing the tune to perfection: so often he would come out head high from the box, ball glued to his feet, alternating dribbles and fast one-twos to be in a straight line in the opposition box. Such is the contrast to today’s style of play of innocuous and boring side passes that any football lover will miss his vertical, accelerating style of play.

Central defenders these days hardly stand a chance if below 190cm: that is a sort of required height not to be bullied by strikers. Franco didn’t need that: at only 176cm with a diminutive frame he relied on his tactical skills and intuition to get to the ball first and turn defence into quick offence. I did it so many times that every the same was expected regardless.
For those who are young enough not to know Bares, just imagine a central defender who possesses Hannes’ tackling, Hossam’s speed, Massimo’s grit and Chetan’s man marking skills. All in one.

Once, in a Milanese restaurant a fan spotted Franco at a table. Pointing him to his three kids he solemnly stated: ‘that man alone gave me more satisfaction than the three of you!

RIP Franco

COLOURS-ORANGE 12-11

GOALS

COLOURS: Yuv (6), Varun (3), Kaan (3)

ORANGE: Robbie (5), Chetan (3), Al (3)

TEAMS

COLOURS: Giancarlo, Kaan, Varun, Yuv

ORANGE: Federico, Chetan, Al, Robbie

The lawn at Kensington Palace looked like the Serengeti in the dry season. And then some hungry beasts showed up from everywhere.

Seven on each side, all armed with the appetite of a lion, the speed of a gazelle, and the cunning ability of a pack of hyenas.

The match was frantic, defying the heat. Fortunes kept shifting. Seven was the magic number, with 7:6 for the bibs the final scoreline.

The bibbed team benefited from a slightly lower average age, while Colours had experience on their side.

The Colours had initially taken the lead, courtesy of rookie David who could not have a better introduction. However, the Colours then went 1:3 down, mainly owed to a more efficient conversion by the Bibs.

Two goals each from Johannes and Hannes shifted the scoreline briefly back in the Colours’ favour, but the Bibs launched wave after wave of attacks to make it back to 6:6, with Dario scoring the Golden Goal with the final header.

Legions of fans and bystanders afterwards expressed their gratitude for this world class football event, reminiscent of the recent England’s memorable win over France in the World Cup Bronze final.

David walked home with the highly coveted Rookie of the Match Award, for his highly positive spirit and contribution. Kudos went also to the other rookie James, author of a valid performance, and almost celebrated for bringing a new nation (Thailand, unfortunately already on the list).

The MOTM award went to Hannes, not just for his great defensive work but for amazing offensive contribution- including one particularly stellar torpedo off a corner into top bin and second header.

The German icon was full of joy when collecting the award “In truth, it was a great goal. In a way it was the fulfilment of that volleyed almost goal that Alessandro sadly heroically prevented from going in two weeks ago… Sharp pass from the corner, taken directly and smashed right under the crossbar… will dream of it in years to come”.

Colours: Hossam, Chetan, David W., Hannes, Johannes, Adam, Kaan

Bibs: Dario, Jonathan, Jonathan, Marco, Al, Jamie, Mortaza

Usually, a polite request (and the occasional selfie) if enough to convince people to move at a safer distance. But this time it wasn’t going to be easy.

A first attempt from Francesco was fruitless, with the girl simply replying she was fine to remain there. Minutes later, JonathanR tried again, only to receive a similar answer, along the line of “I was here before, so I won’t move”. Clearly, she wasn’t aware of the dangers of being so close to the action.

With the goals already in place and the clock ticking, FDs decided to reduce the pitch by respecting an invisible lateral line that would kept the girl just outside the play. Not just that, they had to adjust their play to (try to) avoid hitting the girl.

A further, but more pleasant distraction came moments before kick-off, when a man approached us.

Having left his sons nearby with a Fox group, George could not believe his eyes when he saw us, and asked if he could join our match as the 11th player.

Despite the obvious maths problem, such a request could never be denied. This is how FDs were born and how most of us were recruited over the years.

Nizar was the first to welcome George, remembering how he did exactly the same thing when he first came to play, some 12 years ago or so.

A Ron Howard look-a-like, despite lacking proper boots George had very good debut, scoring one and getting close to a second with one of the best headers ever seen in our matches.

His presence however had the inevitable effect to unbalance what could have been a perfectly fair 5-side game. Counting on the extra-man, and playing downhill, the Colours team had always more attacking options, and scored profusely.

Being one-man down, instead of retreating in defence as Tuchel might have done, the Oranges went ahead and played in a very attacking fashion. Francesco, Marco and Morteza all found the net, but the score remained firmly in favour of the Colours (8-3 or something).

Discussions were held about changing the teams to rebalance the game, but no action was taken. “Two more minutes and I am gone” replied George every time that the issue of disparity was raised. Those two minutes lasted half an hour or so, but eventually he did leave, returning the match to a fair 5-side.

In this second part, the Oranges actually scored more than the Colours and reduced the gap, but it wasn’t enough to invert the result, with the match ending with the Colours prevailing 11-8.

Among the Colours, it was Kaan to shine. A player that is always reliable, he played his no-nonsense football, and directed the game as a seasoned Spanish midfielder (think Rodri), earning a well deserved MOTM award.

And the girl? Oh, she was never hit with the ball, a testament to the precision of FDs play, didn’t move a muscle during the whole match and remained there after we finished. Perhaps she is still there.

COLOURS-ORANGES 11-8

ORANGES

Francesco, Marco, Morteza, Jonathan, Jonathan

COLOURS

Johannes, Victor, AndreaM, Nizar, Kaan, George

My Kingdom for a right shoe!

The game was played in front of Kensington Palace as half term has started: please take note Palace will be FDs’ summer residence until schools start again in September.

The pitch is a bit smaller but smoother, ideal for a 8 v 8 game like today. Fans love it as it offers a natural oblique stand with elevated view and trees behind providing a much needed shadow. These premium tickets were snatched in no time and an active market developed thereafter with Wimbledon tickets holders happy to barter in.

Royals were nowhere to be seen not least because the Palace is wrapped up in scaffolding for what looks like a long-lasting refurbishment whose end-result will have important repercussions on the future of the monarchy. It was surprising that even the most intimate Royal observers missed out on two concomitant factors which instead were picked up with perspicacity by your very commentator: the recent surprise visit of Prince Harry to his father King Charles and the restructuring of the very Kensington Palace.

This is a long rooted story: we were perhaps the one to point out at the time that one of the causes, if not the main one, of the animosity among Royals was the weekly dispute on who was entitled to the best seats to watch FDs from the Palace window every Saturday morning.

It is only plausible that Harry has put his return to England conditional upon both the refurbishment of the Palace and the bestowing of the desired seats for him and family. Harry apparently made it clear that having such seats is a condition both necessary and sufficient for his permanent return, implying that all the rest (titles, estates etc) can be at full discretion of his Royal Father.

Only fools can think this is a frivolous matter: Prince William has been a long term loyal Aston Villa fan ( nobody is perfect…) but he reconciled himself with the beauty and essence of football only since he started watching FDs. We know full well Prince William would rather trade his future crown, which bring responsibilities, for a FDs front seat which bring perpetual joy. Perhaps a compromise can be struck: something like a big, elevated veranda with equal seating but at the moment Kensington Palace is hidden in scaffoldings and no educated guess can be taken for granted on what its final shape of the southern wing will be.

Moving from Royalty to science, ’Yuv’s Law’ yet again found multiple applications today. Twice the bar was clipped and the ball then went further out: first a fierce shot by Victor, back in action, and then an angled thunder one by Al that hit Giancarlo’s hand (not the other way around) and then the upper bar, resulting in a corner kick. Just a reminder: if you want the ball back in play you have to hit the post, preferably the bottom part for ‘Yuv’s Law’ to apply. Elastic bars instead behave like elastic bars.
As for Victor, Carlo Ancelotti has only himself to blame for not using him in the World Cup: a double V partnership, Vini Jr and Victor, would have naturally spelt Victory all along: it’s in the name!

Unfortunately Yuv was not there today to validate its law: we should resign to the fact that his appearances will be even rarer as he is constantly invited to scientific forum and conferences since his own Law rocked the world of science. It might not be a coincidence that on his agenda on December 10th there is written ‘Oslo’…

There were other ballistic wonders: at one point a high ball was flying midway between Orange box and midfield: before it had a chance to touch the ground Hannes hit it with such force and purpose that it had everyone screaming and jumping in anticipation of a great goal. It was like Tony Kroos and Lothar Mattheus had combined to lend Hannes their power and technique to produce such an amazing shot. But with Alessandro as a keeper, it is goal only when the ball inflates the net. In fact the Italian stretched his left arm to send the ball just above the bar making an incredible save. Everyone, including opposition, hoped it was a goal so to have a proper, long lasting recognition of such ballistic prowess. Fans were anyway ecstatic but the most relieved were the ducks in the pond always on red alert when Hannes tries long distance volleys…

Talking about strikes also Chetan was close to score from distance: had he not worn Giancarlo’s emergency shoes rather than his own, we would probably celebrate a great goal. But Chetan score he did later with a diabolical diagonal shot. Today he had his personal set of fans (see pic) but their loyalty ought to be questioned as they were not there at the topic moment: did they think Chetan would never score or were they convinced he would take them to a game of cricket?

Chetan had a dedicated fan base and he rewarded them with a goal

Chetan was not available for the post match interview to clarify the matter and could not be reached thereafter, unlike his voice mail which kept repeating: ‘it is not every Saturday that I score, so please just let me celebrate the goal in peace!’.

Teams seemed well balanced at the start for a 8 v 8 match under the scorching sun: Colours fielded 4 Dads and 4 Kids while Orange respectively 5 and 3 with the latter arguably favoured by the age factor. We often argued that age for FDs is only a number and today yet again the argument found evidence.

Colours played with a very well balanced 2-3-2 with a rushing keeper in the early minutes until Giancarlo, owing to a malfunctioning knee, became the permanent one giving Orange hopes of an easy victory as long as they could hit the goal… Orange had the advantage of a proven goalkeeper in Alessandro but lacked adequate cover in defence with a clear propensity for forward traction and tactical indiscipline.
Colours immediately capitalised on such a daring system by exposing Orange fragility in back, despite Alessandro’s heroics. Morteza has become a prolific striker but at times he is on a ‘hit and miss’ mode: not today when he formed with Smayan a deadly partnership capable of inflicting pain at every touch, scoring cumulative 8 goals (4 each) giving Orange defence no respite. The ever reliable Julien added two as well as JR did with flair and efficacy.

On the opposite front the Ragnis had the lion’s share scoring a combined hat trick out of 5 goals. Francesco had two: despite being the least mobile player he was there when it mattered most, a bit like Messi but unlike Messi he also scored with a header-shoulder giving hope of a remuntada. Kaan with a brace and a remarkable performance also made fans believing than the game was not over.

Other than Victor the other notable return was Andrea R who assisted and scored almost at will, putting to use his right foot reminiscent of the Azzurro and AC Milan winger Donadoni.

Players were under strict orders not to resort to hydrations breaks which in fact did not take place officially. Nevertheless CLUB’s emissaries, disguised as trees, spotted though some of them sneaking out of the pitch to eagerly drink water. Heavy disciplinary measures, supported by video evidence, are expected to hit them before next match.

FDs and FKs treated themselves to hydration break only at the end of the non-stop match, ridiculing World Cup players.

In the meanwhile on the pitch the forward Colours’ pair made by Morteza and Smayan, fed by the midfield golden triangle of Johannes, JR and Julien, devastated any hope of recovery by the Orange scoring a bundle with multiple systems and moves fixing the result at 12-5 when the clock hit 11.45. The gulf in performance was dragged into the golden goal with Smayan again netting the metal winner.

Fired by the victory of his own country over Belgium in the World Cup, the Spaniard was the Man of the Match with Morteza in close contention. Smayan not only scored four goals but delighted the audience with a couple of sublime ‘roulette’ a la Zidane in front of the Orange goal.
Though this is unconfirmed, the entourage of the Spanish crown has spilled that King Felipe has place a call to Infantino asking for Smayan to be allowed to play the semis for Spain. Yet again FDs and FKs are called in to rescue the show.

COLOURS-ORANGE 13-5

GOALS
COLOURS: Smayan (4), Morteza (4), Julien (2), Jonathan R (2), Johannes, Chetan
ORANGE: Francesco (2), Andrea R, Kaan (2)

TEAMS
COLOURS: Giancarlo, Hannes, Chetan, Julien, Johannes, Jonathan R, Smayan, Morteza
ORANGE: Alessandro, Al, Victor, Dario, Kaan, Youness, Andrea R, Francesco

There is much to like about playing football in the early evening after a summer working day. The light is warmer, the temperature is falling rather than rising, and (added bonus) you can park in the Royal Borough without paying a penny.

Other than that, certain things never change: whenever FDs take to the pitch, it’s business as usual: high-speed, high-octane football, fierce tackles, plenty of shouting, controversial refereeing decisions, and a plethora of goals.

Yesterday’s match saw sixteen players determined to give at their best, despite the heat and a hard, dry, pitch that now resembles a savannah, with very little grass and holes so big that you wouldn’t be surprised to see a warthog jumping out of one of them.

While battling such a poor surface, the players could at least enjoy a brand new ball, courtesy of Bijan.

The official ball of the Premier League season has already been tested by the likes of Erling Haaland and Bruno Fernandes, but it remained to be seen how it would respond to the delicate touches and thunderous strikes of the FDs. Puma executives, present on the pitch for the occasion, were understandably anxious, but ultimately pleased with the result.

Still euphoric after having a new law named after him, Yuv arrived accompanied by two wingmen: rookie Arun and Aris (left and right in the top photo). Two strong players that we hope to see more often.

Adam played the entire match shirtless, a decision that puzzled pundits, who were unsure whether it was a response to the extreme heat, or an attempt to intimidate his opponents and ensure nobody dared mark him close. Whatever the reason, he had a very good match, and I am obliged to put on record that he scored two goals (he made me an offer I couldn’t refuse to ensure I mentioned that).

The most dramatic moment came in the second half, when Yuv and Dario’s knees collided. The Italian fell to the ground, screaming in pain, with everyone fearing the worst. After a minute or two, however, Dario was back on his feet and resume playing as if nothing had happened. Supernatural powers at work?

A surreal episode occurred shortly afterwards. A mysterious individual entered the pitch, instead of going around it, and slowly made his way from one goal to the other.

With his enigmatic expression, improbable outfit and dreamlike, unsettling walk, he looked as though he had stepped out of a David Lynch film, such as the disturbing woodsman from Twin Peaks The Return.

Undeterred, players carried on kicking ball, but I’d rather not think about the kind of cosmic wrath that might have descended upon us had someone accidentally hit him!

ORANGES-COLOURS 6-8 (or something like that)

ORANGE

Francesco, Alessandro, Hossam, Yuv, Arun, Al, Jonathan, and more

COLOURS

Andrea, Bijan, Dario, Adam, Aris, Nizar and more

Some WC games come close, in terms of adrenaline intake, to our Saturday battles but, among others, would never be able to host surprise events like the one we witnessed today. Since their departure from Kensington Palace, from which they could discreetly watch every game, Royals have not only not turned up at any game but also didn’t send any sign of their affection.

Yet today, perhaps embarrassed by the long absence, they sent an unequivocal sign of where they would rather be on a Saturday morning. At one point when the fight was raging, a big, white, regal Swan (one of those protected and registered) landed in the middle of the pitch. The huge bird betrayed a clear sense of entitlement so that any rush action to get rid of him would have been been met by a fierce, regal resistance with a line of park wardens ready to punish anti- Royal behaviour .

As always, FDs came out with the perfect solution which both appeased and pleased the Swan: two line of players were formed in no time and while the Swan was going through them, he was given a standing ovation until finally he displayed his wings to fly over the pond landing in Kensington Palace where news were eagerly awaited.
As the Royal Swan stole the scene, few ordinary dogs planning their usual encroachment to chase the ball, thought it was better to postpone the raid to a different not to look second best, their eventual invasion met by indifference .

There was also a curious event that puzzled scientists, more specifically physicists when Yuv directed a strong header against the post. Being an elastic band the ball was expected to either go in the net or outside. Instead, it did bounce back as if hitting a solid post.

Physicists were left with no option but to call it the ‘Law of Yuv’ which states unequivocally : ‘When a ball hits an elastic post it will go either in or out. Unless is hit by Yuv’. Later Yuv with an amazing shot hit the top corner with the ball going out. This allowed the ‘Law of Yuv’ to be further restricted to posts, excluding bars and top corners. Contributing to the progress of science is just another FDs endeavour.

At the start of the game there was a new young face: Simon from South Korea played a good game as a reliable right back for Colours. Unfortunately, SK is already among our 74 Nations. We went from 66 at the time of the Master Game Anniversary two yers ago to 74 today. At this pace, which is necessarily slowing, to fill the 195 Nations recognised by ONU it will take 30 years. Perhaps we should create in parallel TFDs (Touring Football Dads) which play every Saturday in a country not yet present in the list. Something the Board should give considerations to.

Karim was back after a long absence and it didn’t take him much to open the dances for the Orange: Giancarlo received a ball midfield, back to the goal, and sensing that behind him there was a move by a team mate, produced a blind pass (a no look would have not done it…) for Karim. There was at that point still work to be done and Karim did it impeccably putting Orange in front. Sensorial Football is another specialty FDs excel at.

The goal, paradoxically, produced the effect to outrage Colours which reacted furiously with Daoud leading the charge: by the end of the match he showed ‘four of a kind’ (ha calato un poker) which for him is just par for the course. The score was further rounded by a goal by Josh who was back in the game in very good shape and by young Arman who is increasingly becoming a well-rounded player, able to assist and score as well as to alternate his game between the two opposite flanks. His father-agent did well to refute early offers which looked generous at the time, almost offensive now.

The fighting spirit though never deserted Orange who were always in the game scoring also with Yuv, JR and Christian. Davide went close to score few times and showed increased stamina by chasing opponents when dispossessed.
Colours brought this aggressiveness into the golden goal as they badly wanted something out of this game. And they were rewarded when Karim bagged it to seal the match with a superb brace.

When the top scorer with four goals belongs to the winning team it’s very likely he will also be the winner of the Man of the Match Award. When that man is Daoud the high probability becomes a certainty. It should also infer that his marker, Christian in this instance, had a bad day in the office. Quite the opposite: it was a clash of titans. With another player marking him probably Daoud would have scored a bundle. Christian often was able to challenge him and come out of the box head high like Cannavaro in Italy v Germany in 2006 World Cup. Besides, the Italian scored a goal and went close to another one with an imperious header which shaved the bar
on a long throw by Yuv. Karim was back with a bang and his brace, one of which was the golden goal, warranted him a place on the podium.

The bad news is that this great World Cup will be soon finished. The good news is that it will be FDs football as usual every Saturday until further notice.
Twenty two years and counting.

COLOURS-ORANGE 7-6

GOALS

COLOURS: Daoud (4), Josh, Arman, Ross

ORANGE: Karim (2),Yuv (2), Jonathan R, Christian

TEAMS

COLOURS: Simon, Josh, Amin, Johannes, Jonathan L, Kaan, Daniel, Robbie, Ross, Daoud, Arman

ORANGE: Alessandro, Andrea, Jonathan R, Christian, Karim, Giancarlo, Davide, Dario, Yuv, Francesco

Sometimes, three words (and two emojis) are enough to make great things happen.

When Yuv wrote “Weekend evening game👀?” at 8.02am on Tuesday, he was expressing a feeling often felt by Football Dads and Kids, the desire to play more often than just on Saturdays. Little did he know that he was about to unleash a tsunami of positive reactions, leading to an exceptional sunset match.

To put things in perspective, in the history of FDs a mid-week evening game had been played only once, on Monday 29 March 2021.

At the time we were coming out of a stressful three-months Covid ban on sports activities. The PM of the time (a blonde guy with long hair and a questionable sense of humour) had announced that organised sport could restart that Monday.

Considering how hard it would have been for everyone to wait six more days to play, the Club decided that a special match would take place that very afternoon, with 18 players enthusiastically answering the roll call.

Luckily, Covid is now a distant memory, but Yuv’s invitation still resonated highly with everyone, not surprising when you factor in all the World Cup stimuli, the more inviting evening weather and the long days of summer light.

Every player did their best to be at the pitch for a 7pm start. Among all, Al (pictured below) deserves credits for sneaking out of his job to come and play, dressing up in style afterwards to return to his workplace, hoping that no one would have noticed his absence in the meantime.

The match was a joyful and intense one, with two of our brightest stars rising to the occasion to delivered a masterclass.

Knowing this would have been his last match for a few months, Aurian played with unseen intensity and flair, scoring a few and even trying to do it with his bottom in one bizarre occasion. Yuv scored an avalanche of goals for both teams, having changed shirt at half time to compensate an evident disparity.

Everyone deserves accolades but special kudos should go to Bijan, the true engine of his team; JoJo, for capturing a million balls and distributing them with precision, and Federico, simply a rock in defence.

The match remained quite balanced until the end, with the score set at 8-8 or something like that, until Aurian’s inevitable golden goal.

Yuv received the Man of the Match Award in recognition not just of his incredible performance, but also his intuition and leadership in suggesting to play mid-week.

Will the evening match become a regular staple of FDs, at least in the summer time? It’s too early to tell, but in the meantime keeping yourself free for next Wednesday at 7pm…

But when warriors who play non-stop from the first touch to the golden goal regardless, to interrupt the game for a water break, well that becomes almost unnatural. It is like if a bunch of unionised camels stop in the desert for water breaks. Their male mates will take the piss forever while female ones will just refuse dating them. To the point, there were fans on the stands questioning if such water break is a breech of contract and as such can trigger a class action for the reimbursement of the season ticket.

The Board, ever alert, was quick to react with the following statement: ‘Hydrations breaks relegate FDs to the realm of ordinary players which is not where they belong. Damaging our brand with such unauthorised initiatives equates to a crime against football which, make no mistakes, will severely be punished. Future breaks will have from now on to be approved by the Board at unanimity and the date will have to be submitted two months in advance. If the date is cleared, then the following terms and conditions will apply: it will only after at least two players from each team have fainted from exhaustion (to be certified by a doctor on the pitch) that quick access to water (10’ max ) will be allowed with takers automatically yellow carded and sent off if found out doing it again’

Today attendance though, credit to players, was business as usual despite the heat: 21 undisturbed footballers staged a thrilling game which could not separate winners from losers:7-7 the final score after golden goal. Besides, there was a bonanza of Rookies, showing that yet again FDs is the most powerful magnet in sport when it comes to attracting new talents.

Rookie Amin from Morocco was on the score list within 1 minute from debut

Yuv and Rookie brother Vansh fought for football supremacy within the family

There were three of them: a by passer, Amin from Morocco and two ‘words of mouth’ Kids. Amin started in defence but after 55’ he was in the opposition box scoring with a header: no time wasted in introducing himself! Of the other two Kids, Vansh knew of FDs and FKs from his brother Yuv: before going to sleep, Yul would always tell him a FDs tale so that he badly wanted to come and check himself if they were for real. As he later put it in the post match interview: ‘It was a game where the lines between phantasy and reality was thinner than those on the pitch’.

The tallest player on the pitch, Vansh had first to negotiate his shooting due to the bumpy terrain but then scored a screamer from distance showing overall agility and vision. As a family member to a well established Kid, the CLUB gets a discount on his price tag which looks full even after such cut.

When Rookie Harry was brought in by Robbie

The other young Rookie was Harry brought in by his ex-Latimer school mates Yuv, Giacomo and Robbie. He took command of the lower left flank playing as a well educated left-back. He reminded us of a previous FD, Paraguayan central defender Blas. Like him, Harry would never mistreat the ball by kicking it far and away from defence: rather he resorted to tricks as an integral part of defending thriving under pressure. Blas would always come out of the box, head high, not before having dribbled, as a minimum requirement, a couple of opponents where at least one of the them had to be either a nutmeg (often competing with Giancarlo) or a Ronaldinho elastic ban. Blas could have played holding a cigar on his right hand while sipping a Martini with olives with the other, without ever losing focus and determination. Harry, please take note.

The game started with Colours hitting the ground running led by Diego F. who, unusually, punched below his size in the MG12. A sure way to make money was to bet on Diego to star in today’s match as it never happened in his career to play two consecutive matches below his full potential. His tally ended with a hat trick which is not every attacking midfielder’s cup of tea.

The disparity of talent and vigour between the two teams was quickly laid bare by the performance of the Colours with Johannes protecting defence (to the point that rush keeper Giancarlo was unbeaten for 15’) and starting the counters with Diego and Oliviero finalising them and scoring a double hat trick.
Orange were heading towards an embarrassing defeat but minutes before the market windows closed they managed to get an emergency loan to go and buy Oliviero for an undisclosed sum. As a lot of cash was still missing to finalise the deal, the closest Colours’ player matching that imposing figure was Jonathan L which was convinced to swap side with an extra package made, among others, of crypto and commodities.

Immediately the exchange granted the game a new balance: Oliviero felt he had an obligation to score the same amount of goals for Orange as he did for Colours.
Harry and Yuness participated in the ‘Remuntada’ with crucial goals.
Unseen scenes happened on the stands: Orange male fans stole from Colours’ ones banners with Oliviero’s photo while females’ ones pledged to cancel their ‘Oliviero’ tattoo first thing on Monday, an irrevocable decision after the Italian scored the golden goal breaking their hearts and sealing the match at an unusual 7-7.

The Man of the Match award was among the least debated in the 22 years FDs history, rendering the votes count a mere formality. Oliviero was helped by Dario to bring home both the MOTM award and two balls in recognition of the double hat trick for the two different teams, a unique feature.

Soon after such performance, stories started flourishing about the Italian striker. Oliviero has always been the forbidden dream of his native town. The local Serie A Club, Udinese has never denied the desire to sign him: who wouldn’t? The problem for all is one of affordability. But there seems to be room for hope: the local newspaper ‘ Messaggero Veneto’ is speculating that fans are organising a crowdfunding to cover his price tag while his salary would be partially covered by proceed from Champions League football, something Oliviero’ goals would guarantee from year after joining.

What a difference a football player can make!

We close the commentary with a photo of the infamous ,Hydration Break’, reminding players in it that they are at risk of incrimination!

An image we all hope we’ll never see again!

COLOURS-ORANGE 7-7

GOALS
COLOURS: Oliviero (3), Diego (3), Amin
ORANGE: Oliviero (3), Vansh, Robbie, Youness (2)

TEAMS
COLOURS: Andrea M, Bijan, Amin, Giancarlo, Harry, Johannes, Kaan, Dario, Jonathan L (Oliviero), Yuv.
ORANGE: Robbie, Federico, Morteza, Jonathan R, Vansh, Youness, Ross, Arman, Davide, Oliviero (Jonathan L), Francesco.

Federico was warmly welcome back by his own set of fans who still had in their eyes the wonderful back heel goal he scored in his last game. We searched the web to find something that could at least get close but it was wasted time.

A breath of fresh air in the shape of two very young rookies graced the game. A young Australian boy by the name of Charlie came all the way from Perth to fulfil his dream to play in our theatre of dreams. He played only for 15-20’ but that was enough to earn him lifetime bragging rights: quite a bargain!

The other Rookie was Khaled, Nizard’s son, who had a hectic start: in fact due to late arrival of Al and Dario, he was forced to swap side twice. The move were made easy by the perceived talent of the young boy which made both teams eager to sign him on the spot. His agent father, Nizar, was overjoyed to cash in twice lucrative transfer fees after only few minutes…A rare case of a Kid subsidising his Dad!

Like father, like son. Nizar and Rookie son Khaled had both outstanding game on opposite sides.

The day also saw a special visit from Boston where our secret agent Christian, by working tirelessy underground , has made FDs the talk of town in the Cradle of Liberty. Such an impeccable job as an agent has turned Christian the top tipped next 007 agent. Speculation is riding high for the next movie’s title: ‘From Kensington Gardens with love’, ‘The man with the golden boot’, ‘Lose another day’ are the most recurring but perhaps’ Football Dads are forever’ is the best defining one.
Playing in the Boston League with many skilled South America player has made Christian looking like a dynamic Cafu’ on the left flank which he mastered all along the game.

The match started fast and Daoud scored after just few minutes with a volley from a corner by Giancarlo, following Hannes’ save. It looked like a typical Daoud day with plenty more to come. A day where a hat trick would be regarded as poor harvest and no bookmaker settled for it. Bijian and Francesco with a sharp angled shot widened the gap but Morteza on the opposite side, fed constantly by Johannes, Nizar and Dario, scored a couple to keep Orange in the game.

Unfortunately Daoud’s hamstring came back haunting him and he had to leave the pitch. The game opened up with ferocious counters on both sides: Al and Jonathan scored for Colours while Dario replicated for Orange to settle the score at 5-4 for Colours in normal time.

You could tell Orange were fuming for not making more of Daoud’s absence and stubbornly went into golden goal with ‘Revenge’ written all over it. And Revenge it was when Julien scored the golden goal in a short matter of minutes.

The game should have ended there but Orange successfully lobbied for and extension and changed the ‘terms and conditions’ of the game: the golden goal was ‘demetalised’ to silver and the new golden goal would win the overall game. Colours felt they were hardly done but accepted in the conviction they would have added the golden goal to their match victory. It was a badly placed bet as Morteza scored the new golden goal putting the final score at 6-5 for Colours and finishing his day with a hat trick

As on the stands Colours’ fans, unaware of such T&C, started rioting, a quick negotiation between the two teams ensued and an amicable agreement was found along these lines: ‘a silver and golden goal scored in quick succession allows the team scoring them (Orange) to claim victory without denying it to the team who won it in normal time ( Colours). This T&C only apply to today’s game’

A unique case where both teams won: if FDs cannot do it, who else?’

The Man of the Match award was hard work as there was not a clear, outstanding, consensual winner. Morteza scored a had trick adding a new dimension to his game but also missed few sitters, hence keeping his main feeder’s, Johannes, goal contribution at low level.

JR and Bijian had a good game scoring one each and delighted fans with highly skilled one-twos.

If there was one, surely the Al-Bassam would have grabbed the family MOTM award.The young Khaled displayed a game a lot more mature than his fourteen years of age, showing composure under pressure and never wasting a ball.

As for Nizar, it is not until you have to mark him that you realise how unpredictable is game is. Having the ability to shoot with both feet at equal power and precision, he can twist and turn in any direction giving the defender no clue.

But today is the day to sing praise to one of the few left unsung hero: Julien. As always he fought valiantly in midfield and on the day he was able to score the early golden goal that meant victory from a certified defeat. When asked what keeps him at this level, Julien paraphrased his compatriot Giroud: ‘It a battle to reach the top but is a war to stay there’.
La lutte continue

COLOURS-ORANGE 5-4

ORANGE-COLOURS 6-5

GOALS

ORANGE: Morteza (3), Johannes, Dario, Julien

COLOURS: Daoud, Bijan, Francesco, Al, Jonathan R

TEAMS

ORANGE: Paride, Christian, Federico, Hannes, Julien, Johannes, Dario, Morteza, Nizar.

COLOURS: Alessandro, Andrea M, Khaled, Bijan, Al, Matteo, Jonathan R, Francesco, Daoud.

Orange had to cope with a rotating keeper and few role defenders but that was a choice rather than necessity in the conviction that Hossam, alone at the centre of defence, was enough to scare any opposition away from the box, to get sucked into a midfield packed with plenty of shrewd Orange operators. A team with such forward traction would either score or concede loads. In fact both happened.

The two sets of fans had different hopes but the common belief was that they were in for the usual Saturday treat.

Colours instead had a more defensive structure with Giancarlo deputising for one of the many missing central defenders, Andre’ and Andrea as full backs with Rookie Emanuele, Edo’s brother, active on the right flank with licence to advance and operate between enemy lines. He had a solid game, often facing off to his brother on the opposite side. Given such prudent Colours’ set up Bijan felt compelled to play in a more forward position flanking Dario alone in midfield with Davide just behind Daoud who played a sole striker.

Edoardo and Emanuele played in opposite teams to make sure victory staid in the family

Such unorthodox formations were untested and it didn’t take long to prove them exposed to mounting attacks from both sides

Colours were faster to adapt to the unusual gameplan and Daoud made sure that whenever a ball was played to him, he would make the most of it starting with one goal and finishing with a handful. While Colours maintained the lead also thanks to a brace by prolific Bijan, Orange were always in the game courtesy of Aurian who simply cannot stop scoring, to the point that his valuation has shot up to a level unaffordable to most clubs.

Francesco also scored one and assisted twice: his goals might have stalled a bit but his Goal/Assists ratio is up there with the best .

At this point with the score at 5-3 for the Colours few things happened. Daoud, and before Davide, picked up an injury and that reduced the Colours’ firing power. But the game changer happened when Oliviero, until then ambulating without a purpose, shrugged off the last of many Negroni he had just few hours before and finally put to work that right foot of his which is as predictable as it is lethal. In a breath taking sequence he laid a hat trick with angled, low, razor-sharp shots that put Orange in front.

From there on, thanks to more goals by Adam and clockwork from midfield led by Morteza, Orange never looked back and sealed the day with an emphatic 10-7 win. It was not always plain sailing but they deserved victory and in the end at times Orange attack was too much for Colours’ defence to cope with despite reiterated saves from Alessandro.

The game and the weather took a lot out of the energies of the players to the point that the golden goal was not played. Few fans complained claiming that golden goal is a birth right and cannot be taken away on the simple ground of exhaustion. The matter was closed with the promise that next Saturday both the golden and the platinum goal will scored.

As for Man of the Match the first half one was Daoud, the second half Oliviero but the MOTM of both half was again Aurian who will use part of the award proceeds to buy a bigger cabinet. Few voters wrote Negroni as their MOTM and to be fair that was the game changer.

ORANGE-COLOURS 10-7

GOALS

ORANGE: Aurian (4), Oliviero (3), Francesco, Adam (2)

COLOURS: Daoud (5), Bijan (2)

TEAMS

ORANGE: Hossam, Morteza, Jonathan R, Edo, Aurian, Oliviero, Francesco, Adam,

COLOURS: Alessandro, Andrea M, Giancarlo, Andre’, Emanuele, Bijan, Dario, Davide, Daoud

The unpredictability of football and the uniqueness of its protagonists made today’s game one where bookmakers had heaven and hell: they could have either become rich or defaulted. A couple experienced the latter, filing for bankruptcy as they were complacent after the first half result. They should have known better: some of the Colours’ players would have not gone down without leaving their own mark on the game.

The two teams looked very balanced for the first 10’. All three keepers answered the call of duty with Paride opting for an outside role as attacking defender, specialised on aerial raids from set pieces in the Colours’ ranks. Then suddenly an unstoppable Jonathan R (JR) sprung to life dominating a midfield crowded with star players. As if that was not enough JR opened the score for Orange with a formidable shot from the distance terminating its run just under the bar. As his amazing momentum was both sustained and progressing at one point few opposition players took it easy in the conviction that JR would test positive at the post match drug check and Colours would be handed a default 3-0 victory.

Well, that was a major mistake from the Colours as anyway Orange were not only JR dependent but they could count on a team rock solid in each department able to connect with speed and precision resulting in a fluency that pleased spectators’ eyes.Hossam, Federico and Bijian erected a defensive wall which was not easy to either climb or go around. Digging was not an option. And when Colours made it through, guardian Tony was there to deny the ultimate access.

In midfield Orange were spoilt for choice: Hussein was dictating the tempo as well as freeing strikers with straight, penetrating passes which cut through Colours’ defence like knife into butter. Julien, Davide, Forteza and Smayan provided the rest: a mix of tenacity, liveliness, assists as well as clinical finalisation. The young and lively Artman was always available on the left flank to provide optionality growing in stature game after game, requiring a dedicated marking.

Such an efficient set up would go and add, after JR’s opener, other four goals by Davide ( scoring in back to back games) Bijian, Forteza and Edo own goal as the whole Colours’ defence had to cope with massive pressure.

At 5-0 down Colours decided they’d enough: under Hannes’ leadership defence steadied: Andre’ on the right flank hardly put a foot wrong while Edo on the left one grew in confidence and shut the door to the Orange assaults which lost ferocity throughout the game. Colours’ midfield started functioning both in protecting defence and, more importantly, feeding constantly striker in what looked an unlikely remuntada. But the belief grew along with the goals, with three winning headers in succession by Aurian, Jonathan L (JL) and Paride complemented by a brace from Johannes and a strike by Andrea so that at 11.45 the score went from 0-5 to 6-5 for the Colours who succeeded in one of the best, if not the best, remuntada on records.

The vigour and intensity of the game was such that it took a toll in terms of injuries: first Orange were deprived of their talisman, Hussein, then there in-form JR but equally opposition had to cope without Paride and then Edo.

Colours had gone from a certain, disastrous defeat that would have consigned them to the hall of shame to an unbelievable, nails biting ‘Remuntada’ for a prominent place in the hall of fame and now there were faced with the possibility of a glorious comprehensive victory if they scored, cherry on the cake, the magical golden goal.

Not only they did that but the goal was such that only a restricted bunch of past champions like Maradona, Beckham, Rooney and Xabi Alonso scored it in such a fashion.

Jonathan L received an innocuous ball from Giancarlo just inside his own half and, back to the goal, sensing that the goalkeeper might have been off his line, with the killing instinct of a born striker turned and suddenly sent a diabolical, long shot into the goal. When the ball inflated the net the crowd erupted giving JL a bipartisan standing ovation, grateful that such goals can only be seen them on a Saturday morning at the FDs Kensington Gardens Arena where miracles are performed on a weekly basis. This is a goal only few players can score: those with an intimate, if not privileged relationship with the ball. JL has officially entered such a list.

Exceptionally the goal was filmed live (see below) by Paride and consigned to future generations

At three quarter of the game the Man of the Match award was a sure property of JR but then events turned Colours from villains to heroes with JL scoring twice, the second a golden goal living long in the memory of fans. While MG12 was poetry in motion, today was a tale of two teams who experienced joy and despair, pain and elation in equal measure.

It was a blessing for those lucky enough to be there: for the others just turn up next Saturday at 10am when the factory of miracles opens the doors.

COLOURS-ORANGE 8-6 (0-5 first half)

GOALS

COLOURS: Andrea M, Aurian (2), Paride, Johannes (2), Jonathan L (2)

ORANGE: Jonathan R, Edo (og), Federico, Davide, Bijan, Forteza

TEAMS

COLOURS: Alessandro, Andre’, Edo, Hannes, Andrea M, Paride, Anton, Johannes, Giancarlo, Aurian, Jonathan L.

ORANGE: Tony, Hossam, Federico, Bijan, Julien, Davide, Jonathan R, Hussein, Forteza, Smayan, Arman