Fired by Spain, Smayan leads Colours to big victory while Royals fight for FDs supremacy
The day started with a right-footed FD bringing two left shoes… Nobody worried as this is a player who can still make the difference barefoot, so where is the problem?
My Kingdom for a right shoe!
The game was played in front of Kensington Palace as half term has started: please take note Palace will be FDs’ summer residence until schools start again in September.
The pitch is a bit smaller but smoother, ideal for a 8 v 8 game like today. Fans love it as it offers a natural oblique stand with elevated view and trees behind providing a much needed shadow. These premium tickets were snatched in no time and an active market developed thereafter with Wimbledon tickets holders happy to barter in.
Royals were nowhere to be seen not least because the Palace is wrapped up in scaffolding for what looks like a long-lasting refurbishment whose end-result will have important repercussions on the future of the monarchy. It was surprising that even the most intimate Royal observers missed out on two concomitant factors which instead were picked up with perspicacity by your very commentator: the recent surprise visit of Prince Harry to his father King Charles and the restructuring of the very Kensington Palace.
This is a long rooted story: we were perhaps the one to point out at the time that one of the causes, if not the main one, of the animosity among Royals was the weekly dispute on who was entitled to the best seats to watch FDs from the Palace window every Saturday morning.
It is only plausible that Harry has put his return to England conditional upon both the refurbishment of the Palace and the bestowing of the desired seats for him and family. Harry apparently made it clear that having such seats is a condition both necessary and sufficient for his permanent return, implying that all the rest (titles, estates etc) can be at full discretion of his Royal Father.
Only fools can think this is a frivolous matter: Prince William has been a long term loyal Aston Villa fan ( nobody is perfect…) but he reconciled himself with the beauty and essence of football only since he started watching FDs. We know full well Prince William would rather trade his future crown, which bring responsibilities, for a FDs front seat which bring perpetual joy. Perhaps a compromise can be struck: something like a big, elevated veranda with equal seating but at the moment Kensington Palace is hidden in scaffoldings and no educated guess can be taken for granted on what its final shape of the southern wing will be.
Moving from Royalty to science, ’Yuv’s Law’ yet again found multiple applications today. Twice the bar was clipped and the ball then went further out: first a fierce shot by Victor, back in action, and then an angled thunder one by Al that hit Giancarlo’s hand (not the other way around) and then the upper bar, resulting in a corner kick. Just a reminder: if you want the ball back in play you have to hit the post, preferably the bottom part for ‘Yuv’s Law’ to apply. Elastic bars instead behave like elastic bars.
As for Victor, Carlo Ancelotti has only himself to blame for not using him in the World Cup: a double V partnership, Vini Jr and Victor, would have naturally spelt Victory all along: it’s in the name!
Unfortunately Yuv was not there today to validate its law: we should resign to the fact that his appearances will be even rarer as he is constantly invited to scientific forum and conferences since his own Law rocked the world of science. It might not be a coincidence that on his agenda on December 10th there is written ‘Oslo’…
There were other ballistic wonders: at one point a high ball was flying midway between Orange box and midfield: before it had a chance to touch the ground Hannes hit it with such force and purpose that it had everyone screaming and jumping in anticipation of a great goal. It was like Tony Kroos and Lothar Mattheus had combined to lend Hannes their power and technique to produce such an amazing shot. But with Alessandro as a keeper, it is goal only when the ball inflates the net. In fact the Italian stretched his left arm to send the ball just above the bar making an incredible save. Everyone, including opposition, hoped it was a goal so to have a proper, long lasting recognition of such ballistic prowess. Fans were anyway ecstatic but the most relieved were the ducks in the pond always on red alert when Hannes tries long distance volleys…
Talking about strikes also Chetan was close to score from distance: had he not worn Giancarlo’s emergency shoes rather than his own, we would probably celebrate a great goal. But Chetan score he did later with a diabolical diagonal shot. Today he had his personal set of fans (see pic) but their loyalty ought to be questioned as they were not there at the topic moment: did they think Chetan would never score or were they convinced he would take them to a game of cricket?
Chetan had a dedicated fan base and he rewarded them with a goal
Chetan was not available for the post match interview to clarify the matter and could not be reached thereafter, unlike his voice mail which kept repeating: ‘it is not every Saturday that I score, so please just let me celebrate the goal in peace!’.
Teams seemed well balanced at the start for a 8 v 8 match under the scorching sun: Colours fielded 4 Dads and 4 Kids while Orange respectively 5 and 3 with the latter arguably favoured by the age factor. We often argued that age for FDs is only a number and today yet again the argument found evidence.
Colours played with a very well balanced 2-3-2 with a rushing keeper in the early minutes until Giancarlo, owing to a malfunctioning knee, became the permanent one giving Orange hopes of an easy victory as long as they could hit the goal… Orange had the advantage of a proven goalkeeper in Alessandro but lacked adequate cover in defence with a clear propensity for forward traction and tactical indiscipline.
Colours immediately capitalised on such a daring system by exposing Orange fragility in back, despite Alessandro’s heroics. Morteza has become a prolific striker but at times he is on a ‘hit and miss’ mode: not today when he formed with Smayan a deadly partnership capable of inflicting pain at every touch, scoring cumulative 8 goals (4 each) giving Orange defence no respite. The ever reliable Julien added two as well as JR did with flair and efficacy.
On the opposite front the Ragnis had the lion’s share scoring a combined hat trick out of 5 goals. Francesco had two: despite being the least mobile player he was there when it mattered most, a bit like Messi but unlike Messi he also scored with a header-shoulder giving hope of a remuntada. Kaan with a brace and a remarkable performance also made fans believing than the game was not over.
Other than Victor the other notable return was Andrea R who assisted and scored almost at will, putting to use his right foot reminiscent of the Azzurro and AC Milan winger Donadoni.
Players were under strict orders not to resort to hydrations breaks which in fact did not take place officially. Nevertheless CLUB’s emissaries, disguised as trees, spotted though some of them sneaking out of the pitch to eagerly drink water. Heavy disciplinary measures, supported by video evidence, are expected to hit them before next match.
FDs and FKs treated themselves to hydration break only at the end of the non-stop match, ridiculing World Cup players.
In the meanwhile on the pitch the forward Colours’ pair made by Morteza and Smayan, fed by the midfield golden triangle of Johannes, JR and Julien, devastated any hope of recovery by the Orange scoring a bundle with multiple systems and moves fixing the result at 12-5 when the clock hit 11.45. The gulf in performance was dragged into the golden goal with Smayan again netting the metal winner.
Fired by the victory of his own country over Belgium in the World Cup, the Spaniard was the Man of the Match with Morteza in close contention. Smayan not only scored four goals but delighted the audience with a couple of sublime ‘roulette’ a la Zidane in front of the Orange goal.
Though this is unconfirmed, the entourage of the Spanish crown has spilled that King Felipe has place a call to Infantino asking for Smayan to be allowed to play the semis for Spain. Yet again FDs and FKs are called in to rescue the show.
COLOURS-ORANGE 13-5
GOALS
COLOURS: Smayan (4), Morteza (4), Julien (2), Jonathan R (2), Johannes, Chetan
ORANGE: Francesco (2), Andrea R, Kaan (2)
TEAMS
COLOURS: Giancarlo, Hannes, Chetan, Julien, Johannes, Jonathan R, Smayan, Morteza
ORANGE: Alessandro, Al, Victor, Dario, Kaan, Youness, Andrea R, Francesco