lockdown Easter
When is football back? How green is the grass at Kensington Gardens ? How can one keep fit if he doesn’t have to chase Johannes for an hour and a half every week? Is Tony L’s left hand still plastered? Did Giancarlo actually go to Antarctica and he is stuck there? Do goals scored at Playstation counts for the official ranking?
Plenty of questions have been in the mind of the Football Dads players and fans since the coronavirus crisis exploded and common sense imposed us to stop playing.
As we enter the strangest Easter weekend ever, the Club has the answers.
Football is back when is back. A tautology that doesn’t say much, a bit like Theresa May’s “Brexit means Brexit“, but it is the truth. The Club will respect official guidelines from the Government and will return promptly to train and play on open ground only once lockdown is lifted. Safety first. As such, the Club remains unimpressed by Jose Mourinho’s decision to bring Spurs to train in a north London park and Cristiano Ronaldo to do a secret training session in Madeira.
Football Dads keep training. In fact, the smartest players are using this forced lockdown to improve their skills. “By luck I have one of the goals and have set up in the garden and practicing relentlessly with Sara and Adam.” said Hossam, “I may be emulating Francesco’s and Giancarlo’s fine touches in front of goal when we are back!”
Virtual football helps. New and old technology offer endless ways to simulate football matches and improve the understanding of the game. Francesco has been doing endless match with FIFA2020 on his PS4, even winning some despite using current disgraced AC Milan as his virtual team. Johannes is also reportedly using FIFA2020 to fine-tune his play and there are rumours of an online match between the two being organised. We are also in talk with EA Sports (the company that creates FIFA2020) to recreate on the Playstation the FootballDads team and allow fans all over the world to play with us. The business deal is already sealed for an undisclosed sum (think many zeros) but there are some huge technical difficulties that might prevent this to happen any time soon. After studying our players the head of the software development team has admitted that the way the game is designed does not allow them to recreate movements such as Hannes’ perfectly-timed tackles or Khaled’s overhead kick. They simply had never imagined that such skills were possible and this means they will need to write a lot of new code. (And no, PlayStation goals don’t count for the official table)
Back to youth days. Taking a more traditional approach, Filippo has gone back to the mother of all football simulation game, the great Subbuteo. He has been training using his beloved Sampdoria team (see top picture), going back to the early 90s, when they had players like Vialli and Mancini and were protagonists in the European Cups. Expect new geometries and deeper game vision when he is back on the pitch.
Eat, eat, eat. Most people worry about the risk of gaining extra-weigth while stuck at home, but Football Dads see this as an opportunity. “I have already gained 2kg” said Paride, a piece of news that will send shivers down the spine of his opponents, already terrified by the prospect to go past him. And this is before the Easter Sunday lunch, where normally any Italian makes a point of eating more food that he could possibly digest in a week. Should Paride continue his growth we might have to buy larger goals to maintain the fairness of the game.
No doubts to cast. Our other goalkeeper Tony L is on his way to a full recovery, after finding creative ways to cope with NHS current work overload. “My wrist is OK” he wrote us “I took the cast off myself and referred to YouTube for physio”. “It is very weak and hurts on sudden movements.” he added “Time will heal I hope”. We wish him a total recovery in time for the Master Game (new date to be announced shortly).
Testing players. As owner and leader of a company at the forefront of the health-beauty sector, Tony S has been active on the Chinese market trying to procure the much needed Covid-19 blood test (read here an interesting article on the subject, where him and his chief scientist share their knowledge with Londraitalia readers). First evidences suggest the tests are still not reliable but we trust Tony to get there soon and provide tests for the whole team and their families.
This is a time to treasure. With plenty of time at home some Dads are taking the opportunity to share some of the fine work they are doing for the Club in and out. We just learned that our own Thomas was at the United Nations headquarter in New York last year to represent the Club, mingling with Secretary-General Antonio Guterres and celebrities such as Michael Douglas and Nelson Mandela’s son. How about that?
That’s all for now. Let your humble editor know how you are doing and I will send another update in a week or so. In the meantime, stay safe and enjoy your Easter break.