Marco drops a poker and sinks the Colours in extreme heat
The conflictual relationship between the Brits and hot weather remains a never-ending source of amusement.
As soon as the thermometer climbs above 30°C, the nation slips into hysterics and a national emergency is declared. The UK Health Security Agency (UKHSA) warned of “a rise in deaths”, while media outlets felt compelled to educate their audience on how to survive on such temperature, with extraordinarily insightful advice such as “wear light clothing”, “stay in the shade”, and “drink water” (oh really?)
Saturday’s heat was indeed intense, but Football Dads and Kids thrive in adversity, and have proven resilient to far tougher conditions. The introduction of long cooling breaks was a sensible move, particularly towards the end of the game, where the sun’s glare became so extreme some players reportedly experienced mystical visions.
A surprise awaited the 20 players: four large tree trunks had been left on the side of the pitch (see top picture). The players welcomed the addition, using them to sit more comfortably while changing shoes. Once pictures of the benches circulated online, a sponsorship bidding war erupted, with Emirates among the highest bidders. However, the Board respectfully rejected all offers out of reverence for the Royal Parks.
The match itself was relatively one-sided, with the Orange team constantly ahead by a safe margin. Yet the contest remained fiercely competitive right up to the final whistle.
Having spent the winter in chilly Michigan, Marco might have been expected to struggle with the heat, but the opposite was true. He played with strength and cold composure, scoring four goals and leading Orange team to victory. Unsurprisingly, he was handed the Man of the Match award in a heartbeat.
The Colours created endless opportunities, but kept missing the final shots. Few soared above the bar, others veered wide, including a missile shot from Al that grazed the post beyond Paride’s reach.
Two more rookies made their debuts (see photos), a testament to the enduring allure of our Club. Playing with glasses, Rakshit (I hope I got the spelling right) initially inspired little confidence, but delivered a remarkable performance capped by a goal. Steven appeared in the closing minutes, playing briefly for both teams. It was too short a stint to assess his impact, but he has promised to be back, this time from the start.
After the match, with the sun at its zenith, there was still enough energy left for selfie with fans and post-game interviews.
Giancarlo took the microphone to dedicate his goal to Leone, his biggest fan, who had earlier invaded the pitch to greet him.
Still upset about the loss, Francesco tried to blame the result on the change of ball. The beautiful Fifa Club World Cup ball, brought by Victor for the Master Game, had been declared too heavy by the defenders and was replaced by a softer one. A team of PhD researchers from Imperial College is now investigating the effect and will soon recommend the precise inflation level of the ball for optimal fairness.
As for the weather, don’t worry too much. The “heatwave” is going to be over soon, and things will go back to normal … whatever that means.
ORANGE-COLOURS 6-4
GOALS
ORANGE: Marco (4), Johannes, Giancarlo
COLOURS: Rakshit, Ishan, Yuness, Bijan (2)
TEAMS
ORANGE: Paride, Thomas, Hannes, Andre’, Johannes, Arkady, Victor, Nadir Giancarlo, Marco, Matteo
COLOURS: Alessandro, Matej, Andrea M, Julien, Bijan, Al, Yuness, Rakshit, Ishan, Francesco, Steven