Moving the goalposts

Our fans are getting younger and younger. Today a toddler was so excited to watch us play that during a match break she decided to remove one the goal posts. The ultimate memorabilia.
Five players had arrived at Kensington Garden, now green again, to play under a boiling sun. Despite being outnumbered, the Wittig duo (Hannes and Johannes) had more brio than their opponents, a pretty relaxed all-Italian team composed by Francesco, Toni and Christian. With teutonic precision, the Wittigs scored a few times and were leading 3-1 when Johannes was forced to leave the game, after twisting his ankle.
Offered the chance to pick one of the Italians, Hannes had no doubts: “Gib mir Toni“. His choice was criticised by pundits and commentators, who pointed out that with such a small pitch Toni’s elevation qualities were unlikely to play a role. However they had not taken into account another one of Toni’s quality, which is to be in the right moment at the right place.
Whenever Hannes sent a ball in the box, the tall striker was there to touch it in goal, much to Francesco and Christian’s frustration.
The two Italians had also great moments. Francesco scored twice with a nutmeg, and Christian scored with a header, an unlikely play in such a small pitch. Down 4-5, in Golden Goal territory, they had the ball to get even and seal the victory. Francesco arrived with the ball on the goal line but hesitated for a second, ultimately deciding to turn around and try to score with a back heel. Terrible decision. Toni appeared from nowhere to steal the ball from him and moved ahead, scoring the Golden Goal and bringing home the Man Of The Match Award.
Best of luck to Johannes for his ankle and for his career, as he completes his Master degree from LSE. We should also congratulate Andrea (freshly graduated in Maths, starting now a Master in Economics and Finance at Kings College) and Marcello, who got spectacular A-levels and is now off to UCL to study Chemistry.
“I will focus my university studies on performance-enhancing substances” said Marcello, who plans to develop a new drug aimed at young footballers and aims to have it ready by the time of the next Master Game. Not that they need it…