"Swing player" keeps things in balance as FDs are forced to play in new venue

The news broke unexpectedly at 9.16: “Due to severe wind gusts caused by Storm Amy, all of the Royal Parks will be closed on Saturday 4 October”.

With Hyde Park unavailable and only 44 minutes before kick-off, negotiations for an alternative venue had to happen at lightning speed.

Within two minutes, the bidding war among London locations was won by the Borough of Ealing, who offered FDs the use of their pitches at Southfield Park, much to Francesco’s satisfaction as he lives just round the corner.

But old habits die hard. Many players showed up at Hyde Park regardless, others missed the message on the chat, or perhaps were horrified at the idea of leaving the Royal Borough of K&C.

Out of the 35 players who showed last week, only 7 managed to arrive on the pitch, a surprisingly low number, but that was more than enough to play a highly contested match.

The odd number of players called for a creative team-making idea. The solution came from Federico who introduced the concept of a “swing player” and volunteered to do it.

Wearing a distinctive yellow bib, Federico would always play with the attacking team (4 vs 3). Every time the attacking team lost the ball, he would start playing for the other one. There was one catch though: he could not shoot in goal, and could only pass or assist.

I know what you are thinking: where is the fun in that? Well, as every goalkeeper or defender would say, football is not just about scoring, and there is enormous satisfaction in sending others in goal. Still, being forbidden to shoot is a bit like having a cake but not being allowed to eat, something that requires a enormous amount of self-discipline.

Federico actually enjoyed his new role very much, serving delicious assists to the players of both teams and only occasionally expressing a hint of frustration for being limited to that.

Driven by a Gregorio Calafiori in top form, with AndreaM guarding the back and Thomas acting as a falso nueve, the Oranges were by far the better team, scoring with ease and greater frequency.

The Colours team had chosen a recklessly attacking strategy, sacrificing their defensive duties, making them too vulnerable to the Oranges’ counterattacks. In one of them, the absence of Colours’ defenders was so evident that Andrea had the time to lie down and push the ball in goal with his head (see top picture), adding insult to injury.

On the Colours side, Bijan and Francesco played with their usual prowess but struggled to adapt to the short pitch and the even shorter goals (just 2-meters wide), sending most shots wide.

JonathanR, who had a positive debut last week, was keen to impress more and tried a number of spectacular tricks, including a rainbow flick that would have made Neymar jealous, but often missed the decisive shot.

After 90 minutes, with Thomas leaving early, to restore parity, Federico abandoned his swinging role and became a full player again.

As if wanting to make up for the occasions lost, he went into full attacking mode with such energy that in one charge he mistook Francesco’s bag for the ball and hit it so hard that it sent it flying in the air and away.

With the score at something like 15-7 to the Oranges (the exact count was lost track of after a while), and rearranged teams, a new count was started for the final minutes. On the 2-2, with the wind now stronger, the Golden Goal was called and Francesco duly responded.

Barely able to walk, let alone run, he was already with his mind to the post-match shower but was still able to fool a couple of opponents with a body move and leave his mark on the match.

After the match, Thomas was awarded the Man of the Match award for his composure and precision in front of goal, while each player was presented by the Mayor of Ealing with the Freedom of the Borough and a 2kg commemorative gold coin minted for the occasion.

“This is a day that will live forever in the memory of our community” said the Mayor, visibly moved, “Should the Royal Parks close again in the future you are always welcome here.”

.