The bronze of Kensington Gardens

When in the warm up Hossam was spotted doing ‘jump up push ups’ that was simply a confirmation of what everybody already knew: holidays for FDs are just another place to train from. All the 13 players turning up today were ‘mean and lean’ with toned up bodies ready to inflict maximum pain to the opposition, regardless.

The Orange team had class and experience in its rank though no professional keeper in goal. Tony S looked undisturbed by the recurring rumor that Guardiola is looking to play him next to Haaland to make the Champions League cup dream a reality.

The Colours’ squad at first sight looked impenetrable with a string of high calibre defenders while the attacking potential rested on the shoulders of Andre’ young kids Viktor and Arkady, thrown so early in the heat of the battle for a ‘make or break’ performance followed by a ‘swim or sink’ session in the Pond. You would expect noting less from FKs! Viktor also scored a vital goal always keeping the Orange defenders on their toes as they learn along the way not to underestimate him because of his young age.

Analysts predicted a game played in the Colours’ half with Orange dominating possession. Pundits are so often wrong these days that fans were hardly surprised to see Colours moving the ball with purpose and tempo not matched by the opposition leading to a one-two hit by Hossam tapping in a lateral pass from Julien in an identical format. No one would be surprised to find out that the French and the Egyptian have spent their holidays together rehearsing obsessively the moves.

Alessandro kept the Orange strikers at bay for a while but the firing could not be stopped when Johannes and Matej
hit the target. Parity was though short lived as Hossam was raiding the Orange land scoring at will with unstoppable coast to coast rides.

Giancarlo was expected to produce something special on his return and lived up to expectations.. While taking a right corner with his right foot everyone was expecting an out curling ball to meet an incoming header. The trajectory instead pointed straight to the goal line and the venomous twist sent it in goal at the keepers’ touch.

How was that possible? Had Isaac Newton been there he probably would have quipped: ‘yet it spins!’ More prosaically Roberto Carlos commented: ‘I would not swap my left foot with anyone but I would take Giancarlo’s right foot any day’. When asked in the post match interview: ‘did you mean it?’, Giancarlo cryptically answered :’ I meant to inflict maximum damage!’

With confidence in divine intervention restored, the Orange went on to reclaim parity few times and when reaching 8-8 they felt there was enough fuel in the tank for a decisive and sustained acceleration to take them over the line of first to ten
with Christian and Khaled hitting the net, The latter was the turbo in the engine netting four after a quiet start and spells in goal proving his lethal touch is still there for everyone to see.

It is fairly unusual that the Man of the Match accolade goes to anyone in the losing team but today no one was in any doubt about the winner: Hossam covered many roles at once, being a rock in defence, a clinical finisher in attack and a smooth passer of the ball in midfield. He is someone who can admirably combine strength and style.

Talking of which these are features that can be appreciated in something I saw recently: I Bronzi di Riace’. These guys stayed for 2.200 years under water yet they still seem real and well preserved. I saw today the same athleticism, exuberant body and readiness to go to war with victory as the only option. Something time won’t take away.

Fast forward a couple of Millenia when our successors will look for digital files or websites, the equivalent of today’s ancient ruins, they’ll be more than entitled to name Hossam ‘The Bronze of Kensington Garden’ . The CLUB will never allow Madame Tussaud to spoil history by placing a waxed Hossam statue next to celebrity footballers. It will rather allow the 70th or 80th generation of FDs and FKs to savour the feeling of what first generation FD were like 2,000 years before.

ORANGE-COLOURS 10-8
GOALS
ORANGE: Khaled (4), Christian (2), Johannes (2), Giancarlo, Tony
COLOURS: Hossam (4), Julien (2), Paride, Viktor.

TEAMS
ORANGE: Khaled, Matej, Giancarlo, Christian, Johannes, Tony
COLOURS: Alessandro, Hossam, Andre’, Paride, Julien, Victor, Arkady