The greatest match ever?
This might well go down in FD history as the greatest match ever, judging by the plethora of hyperbolic comments that flooded the chat just minutes after the final whistle.
Below is commentary by Andrea M in his brilliant writing debut, followed by additional comments from Diego F.
Dreading last week pitch conditions, the German contingent decided to defect in favour of temperature appropriate activities. Little they could know that the gardeners of Hyde Park Stadium, had spent hours, working tirelessly, preparing the pitch to its best condition.
The smell of fresh cut grass worked as an energizer for the FDs, sharpening their senses, in sight of a game that felt as an epic battle already. The crowds seem to know that and started queuing early to have the privilege to witness to what it will be remember as THE CLASH OF THE TITANS.
Finally (once consent from Antidoping officials, who confirmed that smelling fresh grass cannot be considered as consuming a Performance enhancing drug) the game starts:
At once, Colours produced a devastating quick and effective combination made of precise 1sttouch passes (from Massimo, to Andrea, to Diego, to Julien) into Giacomo poisonous right foot that, like a consecration, sent the ball into the bottom left corner, leaving no chance to the Bibs.
Colours seemed to have the upper hand, taking advantage of Bibs not having completed their pre-game warm-up: their tactic against Adam and Yassin’s pace was working: press them high and keep them cold!
Rumours are circulating that Colours have been in contact with none other than Jurgen Klopp (they have convinced him to manage the FDs next season) and stole this strategy from his private book.
Bibs started taking countermeasure and when Hossam shouted “I am almost warm-ed up now!”, Colours started to fear what was going to come next.
Luckily for them, Klopp’s strategy was still working: Gabriele goal was a copy of the 1st, giving Colours some breathing space.
Paride, Massimo, Anton and Al seemed unbreachable until they weren’t: Victor’s feet were smoking hot and every ball he touched had Colour’s defence in DEFCON 5 mode. Eventually one of his shoots found an impossible angle and went behind Paride’s gloves.
Hang on a second… VAR CHECK – NO GOAL.
Victor’s missile had literally dismantled the net (from the side) but not the score, which was still 2-0 Colours, among Bibs protests.
That’s when the game became a battle, no holds were barred, whilst Antidoping decided to send a grass sample to the lab for testing, after noticing few players dilated pupils and foaming mouths.
Bibs’ missiles were still flying and eventually after hitting a post (Victor) and shaving the edge of the bar (Mohammed), manage to slip through Paride’s hands (Victor). 2-1.
At this point, the game could have gone anywhere, the crowds were going crazy and the game had to be stopped few times for a pitch invasion.
The score was now 3-2. Colours seemed to have run out of gas and only thanks to a masterful performance from Al were able to keep the advantage.
This is when the experience makes the difference and Colours had plenty.
Massimo received the first yellow card of the history for inviting one of the invaders (a lady and her dog) for tea: “This is totally unacceptable”!
Bibs deserved the draw and they knew it. At this point, Anton injury felt as the universe sending a signal. But Anton did not leave the pitch and swapped with Paride instead.
Bibs gained confidence and this allowed Jon to surprise everyone (himself included) with a long shot straight into the top corner: 3-3
Golden Goal? Boos from the bleachers were taken as a clear no.
The fate of the game was still undecided: bad news for colours with a 2nd injury that saw Gabriele leaving the pitch.
At this point, even aliens were watching the game. An UFO named Paride slammed the ball in Bibs goal (they still have no idea where it came from).
That would have been one hell of a Golden goal!
Bibs weren’t ready to give up yet and eventually one of their many chances went in, sealing the draw.
Golden Goal?
When Hossam singlehandedly decided to end the game, enacting a kind of Di Canio’s against Everton move, everyone agreed that it was for the best. After all the ball belonged to him.
(Andrea Milano)
Some other shadow write just gave a brilliant reading of the last part of the game: enlightening!
In the mesmerising world of football where the drama is as thick as a shake at a diner, the Colours team played like peacocks in a rainbow parade and were leading 3-1.
They were dancing on the field, their passes as slick as butter on a hot pan….
Exactly when they thought they could fry the 🍊 team, those guys started sneaking behind the Colours’ defence like ninjas at a fruit salad party….
Though the comeback was so deserved, it could’ve been scripted by a Hollywood screenwriter… 3-3 then, and lot of gray hairs fell on the pitch through the evolution of mankind!
Now, picture this: the Colours suddenly were one man down as Gabriele probably went off chasing butterflies instead of keeping his heroic performance going and at the same time they had to bring in Anton for goalie duty.
Despite this, the Colours, with a play so smooth it could be a jazz solo, scored the fourth goal. Paride, assisted by Giacomo on a made-to-measure cross after a high-tempo triangle with Diego in midfield, leaped like a salmon on a trampoline and nailed a header that was more stunning than a plot twist in a telenovela.
Anton, bless his heart, while resembling Kolasinac as a left back, is comparable neither to Yashin nor to Buffon as a goalie… it was more like someone told him to ‘stand there and look pretty’ when [John] scored the fourth goal with an amazing shot in the higher corner
Now the trick is: the 🍊s tied 4-4 but they were sweating like they were in a citrus sauna!! The thought of losing to a golden goal against a team with one less player was more embarrassing than wearing socks with sandals.
So, in a move as dramatic as a diva exiting stage left, they decided to leave the pitch. And that is how the match ended – not with a bang, but with the 🍊s rolling away! ⚽️🍊☮️ 🌈
(Diego Fiorillo)
COLOURS-ORANGE 4-4
TEAMS
COLOURS: Paride, Al, Massimo, Anton, Diego F, Julien, Andrea M, Giacomo, Gabriele.
ORANGE: Hossam, Chetan, Jon, Yassin, Adam, Mohammad, Federico, Victor, Nizar